40 - "Action," Sweet
39 - "Only Love is Real," Carole King
38 - "Let Your Love Flow," The Bellamy Brothers
37 - "Good Hearted Woman," Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson
36 - "Insperable," Natalie Cole
35 - "Hold Back the Night," The Trammps
34 - "Take it Like a Man," Bachman-Turner Overdrive
33 - "Love is the Drug," Roxy Music
32 - "Squeeze Box," The Who
31 - "Sweet Love," The Commodores
A good-sized rock contingent in this first group. British glam rockers Sweet kick things off with the most grandiose-sounding of their hits. This BTO song I didn't know at all, which I'm surprised at, given my heritage. It's basic blue-collar rock about life on the road, andmakes references to ZZ Top and prostitutes. It was their last U.S. hit. Bryan Ferry's smooth slicksters made their only impact on the American mainstream with this fantastic, dance floor-ready ode to cruising for chicks. The car-starting sounds at the beginning, incidentally, are from a TV-movie called Duel, which is best remembered for the fact that it was directed by some guy named Spielberg. And The Who show up with their memorable semi-novelty about what Mama has that causes Daddy's lack of sleep. And even though Roger Daltrey says that she wears the title instrument on her chest, one gets the feeling that it might really be located somewhat lower on her person. I had no idea about any of this at five, though. It was just fun and catchy. Plus, a banjo solo!
Then it's Carole King and the country bunch. Carole does her Kingly thing on yet another song. Nothing about it stands out. Just add it to the ball. The Bellamy Brothers (David and Homer to their loved ones) would have a long string of country hits, but their best known song, the future pop #1 didn't even crack the country Top 20. Their only other pop Top 4o was the immortal "If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me." Apparently, the current Britney Spears paraphrases that song's wordplay, and neither David nor Homer are happy about it. And another C&W duo, Waylon and Willie, cracked the pop charts with a live version of Waylon's song about a nice girl who can't help but love a bad boy. In a war of coolness and general badassery, the Ws crush the Bellamys.
This group closes out with the soul patrol. Nat King Cole's daughter followed up "This Will Be" with a kind of loungey number about how much she likes having her man around. I only knew the Trammps from "Disco Inferno," so I was quite surprised to hear that this earlier hit sounded like a cross between 60s Motown and "Build Me Up Buttercup." And the Commodores got their first Top Ten with a pretty but unremarkable ballad. It's a lot heavier on strings and such than later smashes like "Easy" and "Three Times a Lady." That's probably why I like those much better,
30 - "Just You and I," Melissa Manchester
29 - "Tangerine," Salsoul Orchestra
28 - "Cupid," Tony Orlando and Dawn
27 - "I Write the Songs," Barry Manilow
26 - "Disco Lady," Johnnie Taylor
25 - "Bohemian Rhapsody," Queen
24 - "Only Sixteen," Dr. Hook
23 - "Money Honey," The Bay City Rollers
22 - "Slow Ride," Foghat
21 - "Deep Purple," Donny and Marie Osmond
The residents of the middle of the road start us off. Melissa Manchester isn't somebody that ever made much of an impression on me, and even though this ballad is pretty big, especially at the end, it pales in comparison to such doctor's office classics as "Midnight Blue" and "Don't Cry Out Loud." Barry Manilow has the only returning hit from our last visit to this vicinity, telling us that he writes all the world's tunes when he didn't even write this one. Lying bastard. And Donny and Marie, whom commercials for their doll likenesses would refer to as "a fabulous pair," had another hit cover with a song that was written in 1933, had lyrics added five years later, was a 60s #1 for another bro/sis duo (Nino Temple and April Stevens), and was the inspiration for the name of the band who gave the world "Smoke on the Water." And writing all that was way more interesting and enjoyable than the song.
Also among the bland battalion are not one but two covers of Sam Cooke songs. Tony Orlando and Dawn had their last Top 40 hit with his song about a matchmaking cherub. But they had a good run, and the decade would not have been the same without their cheesy cheese. And Dr. Hook began his run of Medicine Show-less suckage with his take on Sam's tale of teen romance. Both have about as much soul to them as the late Mr. Cooke had in his pinky fingernail.
A mere two disco numbers here. The Salsoul Orchestra, the backup band for the label for which they were named, contained many of the members of MFSB, the Philadelphia International Records backing band that did the hit theme from Soul Train. Here, they're fronted by anonymous female vocalists singing about some really hot lady named after a fruit. And Johnnie Taylor, the man who had in the past advised men not to get divorced and watch out for Lotharios named, uh, Jody, debuted this week with a future #1 in which he tells a woman in a dance nightclub to "move it in" and then "shove it out." The man was nothing if not a smooth operator.
We close this section with rock. Queen didn't exactly "bring ballet to the masses," as Sid Vicious once accused Freddie Mercury of attempting to do when they encountered each other, but they did add a little opera to the lives of unsuspecting pop radio listeners with the "Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango?" middle section of their hit here, which would be revived in the 90s by a couple of fictional suburban Chicago teens. Yes, when you look at it out of the context of its immense familiarity, it's a contender for the Uneasy Rider Award. But it was legitimately beaten out, I assure you. Scotland's teen heartthrobs named after a city in Michigan actually showed some real rock chops on their song here about the importance of currency. So now I can say I like two Bay City Rollers songs. And finally we have Foghat and their biggest hit, a rock staple about taking it easy. We all know it, so what else is there to say?
Tomorrow: a hit about CB radio (but probably not the one you're thinking of), an even older song than "Deep Purple," and a disco queen comes onto the scene. Literally.
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