November 18, 2000 Part One

Apologies for the absence.  But I'm back now, so you can all breathe again.

Welcome to the year 2000.  A lot had been expected of this year, and some crazy things did happen, perhaps none crazier than what was happening when this countdown first aired.  You see, the U.S. presidential election had taken place eleven days earlier, and yet the winner had yet to be accurately determined.  And, some would argue, it never was.  Anyway, when people weren't talking about butterfly ballots, hanging chads, and Katharine Harris' makeup, they were listening to these songs.

40 - "E.I.," Nelly
39 - "Stan," Eminem
38 - "Big Pimpin'," Jay-Z
37 - "Pop Ya Collar," Usher
36 - "Walk Me Home," Mandy Moore
35 - "Pass You By," Boyz II Men
34 - "Shake it Fast," Mystikal
33 - "Californication," Red Hot Chili Peppers
32 - "Sleepwalker," The Wallflowers
31 - "Again," Lenny Kravitz

　
Rappers are a strong presence in this first section.  St. Louis' Cornell Haynes had his second hit with this track that modifies the hook from "Old MacDonald Had a Farm" to "E-I-E-I-Uh Oh!"  Otherwise, it's just a typical rap about women, cars, drugs and bling, but enhanced by Nelly's trademark sing-song delivery.  Then we get our first introduction to one Marshall Mathers, the man who came out of Detroit to become arguably the biggest music star of the 21st century to date.  His enrty here is arguably his masterwork; a dark tale of a devoted fan who becomes increasingly obsessed to the point where he is personally offended by what he perceives to be Eminem's intentional snubbing of him.  Ultimately, the fan decides to punish his former hero by sending him a tape of him drunkenly driving his car over a bridge with his pregnant girlfriend in the trunk.  A harrowing exploration of how hero-worship can become something more sinister, helped greatly by a haunting sample from Dido's "Thank You."  A clear classic.  Jay-Z is here with a track on which his voice and flow rise above the standard lyric about money and sex.  Texas duo UGK also contribute to the track.  They're all right.  And New Orleans' Mystikal had his biggest pop hit with this clean version of a song called "Shake Ya Ass."  In spite of the title change, it's still about the wonders of the female posterior.  Nothing that interesting, but it does mark one of the earliest pop appearances of the production duo known as The Neptunes.  I'm sure we'll hear more from them in the future.

Three solo artists are here.  R&B star Usher is here with his ode to showing swagger in the face of haters.  He also tells you that "you can eat it or throw it away," although he doesn't specify what "it" is.  I imagine I'd throw it away.  Mandy Moore continued her brief run of hits with this sub-Britney teen ballad.  Highly forgettable.  And Lenny Kravitz had his second and last pop Top Five with this midtempo ballad about lost love.  He has his moments, but sometimes he's just boring.  This is one of those times.

We close this first section with groups.  Boyz II Men had one of their last pop hits with this ballad that pleads with someone not to give up on true love for security that makes them unhappy.  Above average material, and raised even higher by these fantastic voices.  Good stuff.  The Red Hot Chili Peppers had another hit with the title track to one of their biggest albums.  It's a cool little riff on the dark side of the Hollywood dream.  And The Wallflowers had their last major pop hit with this jangly tune about romantic doubt.  Just okay, but I'll give a bonus point for namechecking Sam Cooke.  　

 

30 - "So in Love With Two," Mikaila

29 - "Stronger," Britney Spears

28 - "Incomplete," Sisqo

27 - "The Itch," Vitamin C

26 - "Right Now," SR-71

25 - "If I Am," Nine Days

24 - "It Wasn't Me," Shaggy featuring Rikrok

23 - "The Way You Love Me," Faith Hill

22 - "Crazy for This Girl," Evan and Jaron

21 - "Who Let the Dogs Out," The Baha Men

Five solo artists here.  Oklahoman Mikaila Enriquez had her only hit with this dance track about being torn between two lovers.  There are many much better dance songs, and if I want to hear a song about the same subject, I'll listen to...well, "Torn Between Two Lovers."  Britney Spears is here with another big Max Martin creation, on which she refers back to her debut hit by singing "My loneliness ain't killin' me no more."  Good for her.  Sisqo (born Mark Andrews) originally found fame with the vocal quartet Dru Hill, then began a solo career that is now best remembered for the camp classic "Thong Song."  But his biggest hit, and only pop #1, was this ballad about how although he has money and fame, his life isn't whole without that one special lady.  Whether or not this woman has "dumps like a truck," he doesn't say.  Colleen Fitzpatrick, who took her stage name from the most prominent nutrient in orange juice, had her last hit with this stuttery dance-popper about horniness.  Her biggest hit was the song "Graduation (Friends Forever)," which I've somehow never heard.  And I don't intend to change that.  And Faith Hill shows up this week with more of her bouncy country-pop.  It's fine, but I'd like it if NBC'd find someone else to sing their football song.  And while they're at it, maybe they could get someone to write something original instead of bastardizing Joan Jett.

Then we have three rock bands.  Baltimore's SR-71 had their only hit with this song about a woman who's a good sexual partner but not relationship material.  And she apparently likes kicking the singer when he's high.  That's nice.  The only thing memorable about this song is how I used to always get it confused with Sum 41's "Makes No Difference."  They're practically the same song.  Long Island's Nine Days had two hits:  "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" and this one.  Both are whiny and terrible.  I'm not even goine to bother saying any more.  And Georgian twins Evan and Jaron Lowenstein had thei biggest hit with this sap-rocker about being in luuuuuurve.  Disposable product for the boy-band audience.

The first half ends with a guy born in Jamaica and a group from the Bahamas.  Shaggy got an assist from British singer Rikrok on his biggest hit on which he advises men who are caught in flagrante delicto cheating on their significant others to vehemently claim that it wasn't them on the bathroom floor with the neighbor lady.  However, he does seem to acknowledge that this strategy is unlikely to work.  But I guess it's worth a try.  People have believed more implausible stories.  And The Baha Men had their biggest international success with this silly canine-theme novelty that became a favorite of sports arena DJs, kids'-movie trailer editors, and Mitt Romney.  Yeah, I mentioned him one last time.  Couldn't help it.  Now let us never speak of him again.  Oh, and by a long shot, "Who Let the Dogs Out" is this week's Uneasy Rider.

In Part Two: the song that made a Hong Kong-born engineering student famous, boy bands galore, and the woman who was "waiting all day for Sunday night" before Faith Hill.

March 25, 1978 Part Two

First of all, sorry about yesterday. I couldn't figure out how to correct how screwy it turned out, so I gave up. But I've corrected the problem for today, and I've fixed yesterday's too. So here we go.

20 - "Running on Empty," Jackson Browne
19 - "Ebony Eyes," Bob Welch
18 - "We'll Never Have to Say Goodbye," England Dan and John Ford Coley
17 - "(What a) Wonderful World," Art Garfunkel with James Taylor and Paul Simon
16 - "Our Love," Natalie Cole

We start with our first visit from one of the decade's iconic singwriters, Jackson Browne. This rocker about Browne's ambivalence toward life as a touring musician was only the third highest-charting single of his career, but it is arguably the one best remembered today. Definitely one I liked at the time.

Then it's ex-Fleetwood Mac man Bob Welch, with a rockier-than-I recalled ode to a woman whose dark ocular organs render him put him in a dreamlike state while simultaneously blinding him. This is apparently a good thing. Anyway, I like this much better that "Sentimental Lady."

Next are England Dan and John Fo.....zzzzzzz. I can't even get through their name without falling asleep from boredom. It's more sleepy MOR that isn't "I'd Really Love To See You Tonight." Don't remember it, don't care.

Art Garfunkel's last major chart success had come with "My Little Town," a one-off reunion with his old buddy Paul. Three years later, Art returned to the charts with a Sam Cooke cover that featured both Simon and fellow folkie James Taylor on backup vocals. It's much like Taylor's soul covers: pretty but bland. I do wonder, however, if this was recorded before or after James had an ant infestation in his Martha's Vineyard home and his neighbor Art came over with his compressor to create a total vacuum that blew the ants out the door.

Last in this group is Nat King's daughter with a made-for-weddings ballad about a love that will "stand taller than a tree," and "shine brighter than the night." Not my thing, but it seems like it should be better known than it is.

15 - "Jack and Jill," Raydio
14 - "Falling," LeBlanc and Carr
13 - "Dance, Dance, Dance (Yowsah, Yowsah, Yowsah)," Chic
12 - "Dust in the Wind," Kansas
11 - "Just the Way You Are," Billy Joel

We start with Raydio, whose misspelled name is due to the group's founder, Ray Parker Jr. This, their first hit, was a retelling of the famous nursery rhyme in which Jack is left alone on the hill one too many times, so he goes down the slope to get some outside attention of his own. It's not the first repurposing of a kid's story for pop purposes, but in a weak week, it gets the Uneasy Rider Award. And it's by far the catchiest of the few hits Raydio would have before Parker Jr. went solo and had a smash with the title song from Ghostbusters. But then Huey Lewis sued him because he felt that song plagiarized from "I Want a New Drug." It was settled out of court, but I think Huey would have won at trial. But I'm hardly a legal expert.

Then it's the faceless duo of Leblanc and Carr with an unremarkable knockoff of the Eagles, America, and other soft rockers. It made no impression on me at all. Moving on.

Chic had their first hit with a number that's sparer than their later smashes, but still does a tremendous job of making one want to do what the title instructs. There's some nice flute in it.

Then it's Kansas with their biggest hit, the acoustic ballad that has made generations of knucklehead rock fans get all reflective and philosophical for a few minutes before the DJ plays some Nugent or something. I guess that's a worthwhile feat.

Rounding out this bunch is Billy Joel with his biggest ballad. Not a fan of it, but it's still better than that Bruno Mars song of the same name. No, I don't think I'm just being a bitter, closed-minded old man. Why would you ask that?

And then, there were ten:

10 - "Thunder Island," Jay Ferguson
This bit of 70s lite-rock about a couple's idyll during a tropical storm is an okay song by an ex-member of the group Spirit. But my favorite composition by him is, by far, the theme from the U.S version of The Office.

9 - "If I Can't Have You," Yvonne Elliman
Here's another one of the songs I've been waiting to cover here, the Gibb brothers-written standout (to me) of the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack. It was a huge favorite of mine as a kid, and time hasn't changed that at all. I don't know what it is: the arrangement, the way the drums sound, the urgency of Yvonne's voice, the big verses and even choruses. Whatever it is, it just hits all my sweet spots. Easily in my Top Ten of the whole decade.

8 - "Sometimes When We Touch," Dan Hill
And now to the other extreme, this overwrought bit of cheese that almost makes me ashamed to be Canadian. Awful awful awful.

7 - "I Go Crazy," Paul Davis
It's one of the great mysteries of this decade how this inconsequential ballad stayed on the charts for a record number of weeks. Coming up with theories of how this could have happened is much more interesting than listening to the song.

6 - "(Love is) Thicker than Water," Andy Gibb
Another hit by the Bee Gees little bro. His best, as far as I'm concerned. But he just never had anything that could stand up to his siblings' best. It really is too bad.

5 - "Can't Smile Without You," Barry Manilow
One of the B-Man's biggest, a silly little number about how a certain person's absence robs his life of joy. Although he sounds pretty happy while singing it. What gives, Barry?

4 - "Lay Down Sally," Eric Clapton
The artist formerly known as God hit the commercial peak of his late-70s country-pop period with this song about wanting a lady to stay a while. Good guitar playing here, but he did too many songs like this. This one is the only one still worth hearing.

3 - "Emotion," Samantha Sang
The one hit by this Australian songstress, featuring so much help from the Bee Gees that she almost seems like a guest on her own record. And if it had been credited to the Brothers Gibb, it would have given them a rare feat, because look what follows it.

2 - "Stayin' Alive," The Bee Gees
And here it is, the song that accompanied John Travolta's movie-opening strut and instantly became both legendary and cliched. Divorcing it from its ubiquity, I've got to admit it's a fantastic song. It does indeed make you feel, well, alive.

And on top 33 years ago was...

1 - "Night Fever," The Bee Gees
Yes, those Australian freres had the top two songs this week. And this made a total of six songs from Saturday Night Fever on this chart. Honestly, I've never been very big on this one. It's okay, but it's miles below "Stayin' Alive." I just don't get it.

The NotCaseys were "Werewolves of London" by Warren Zevon, "It's a Heartache" by Bonnie Tyler, and "With a Little Luck" by Wings. The first two are great. The third, meh.

Back next week, and hopefully the entries will be presentable the first time.