The OMUTURE: Quarterfinals

THE MAKE LOVE NOT WAR BOWL 

"Turning Japanese," The Vapors, 1980

vs. "19," Paul Hardcastle, 1985

HOW THEY GOT HERE

Turning Japanese

ROUND 1: Defeated "She Bop" by Cyndi Lauper 42-35

ROUND 2: Defeated "Centrefold" by The J. Geils Band 41-17

ROUND 3: Defeated "Sugar Walls" by Sheena Easton 49-6

ROUND 4: Defeated "Whip It" by Devo 42-16

ROUND 5: Defeated ""Bust a Move" by Young MC 28-10

19

ROUND 1; Defeated "Born in the USA" by Bruce Springsteen 45-19

ROUND 2: Defeated "Still in Saigon" by The Charlie Daniels Band 42- 16

ROUND 3: Defeated "Another Brick in the Wall Part 2" by Pink Floyd 44-10

ROUND 4; Defeated "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel 28-14

ROUND 5: Defeated "One" by Metallica 35-27

Final Score: Nineteen 37, Turning 10.  Hardcastle's team brought out all their heavy artillery: the shotgun, the long bomb, and relentless blitzing to vaporize their opponents' hopes.  The Turning team no longer have this tournament to occupy their attention, but observers believe they'll have no trouble finding a new pastime, and when they do, we might not see them for awhile.

THE BLISSFUL IGNORANCE BOWL 

"I've Never Been to Me," Charlene, 1982

vs. "Don't Worry, Be Happy," Bobby McFerrin, 1988

HOW THEY GOT HERE

I've Never Been to Me

ROUND 1: Defeated "Coming Around Again" by Carly Simon 31-14

ROUND 2; Defeated "To All the Girls I've Loved Before" by Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias 31-17

ROUND 3; Defeated "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood 24-10

ROUND 4: Defeated "Dirty Laundry" by Don Henley 34-14

ROUND 5: Defeated "Sun City" by Artists United Against Apartheid 19-14.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

ROUND 1: Defeated "The Longest Time" by Billy Joel 56-0

ROUND 2; Defeated "Come On Eileen" by Dexy's Midnight Runners 51-3

ROUND 3: Defeated "Orinoco Flow" by Enya 34-28

ROUND 4: Defeated "Wasn't That a Party" by The Rovers 45-3

ROUND 5: Defeated "Eat It" by Weird Al Yankovic 35-19

Final Score: Happy 27, Never 21.  Both teams had gotten this far by displaying a devil-may-care attitude and not thinking about anything but winning the game in front of them. But early in the second half of this game, Charlene's team appeared to start doubting themselves, wondering if the way they played the game was worth it in the long term, and perhaps even if they should have taken up a different sport. McFerrin's team took advantage of this to get the win.  After the game, losing coach Charlene announce that her entire team was giving up football to find their soulmates and start families, because, "marriage and children are the most precious trophies of all."

THE INFLICTING AND REPAIRING INJURIES BOWL 

"General Hospi-Tale," The Afternoon Delights, 1981

vs. "The Curly Shuffle," Jump N The Saddle, 1984

HOW THEY GOT HERE

General Hospi-Tale

ROUND 1: Defeated "The Goonies R Good Enough" by Cyndi Lauper

ROUND 2: Defeated "Bette Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes 35-6

ROUND 3: Defeated "Burning Heart" by Survivor 38-7

ROUND 4: Defeated "Batdance" by Prince 34-28

ROUND 5: Defeated "Heartlight" by Neil Diamond 27-13

The Curly Shuffle

ROUND 1: Defeated "Twilight Tone" by The Manhattan Transfer 44-3

ROUND 2: Defeated "I Wanna Be a Cowboy" by Boys Don't Cry 47-7

ROUND 3: Defeated "The Clapping Song" by Pia Zadora 49-17

ROUND 4: Defeated "Walk the Dinosaur" by Was (Not Was) 45-16

ROUND 5: Defeated "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco 31-14

Final Score: Curly 31, General 21.  The Stooge team struggled to get its act together in the first half, making numerous mistakes and blaming each other for them.  But in the second half, they became more focused and threw everything they had at the Delights, who at the same time started getting caught up in their own internal dramas, and the surgical precision they showed early in the game was replaced by suspicion and intrigue.  Once again the Shuffle squad finds a way to win, but there's a surprisingly celebratory mood in the Hospi-Tale camp, because apparently two of their players are about to marry each other. And apparently an L. Taylor will be in attendance, and it's not Lawrence.

THE YOU PAY YOUR MONEY AND YOU TAKE YOUR CHANCE BOWL 

"Pac-Man Fever," Buckner and Garcia, 1982

vs. "Run for the Roses," Dan Fogelberg, 1982 

HOW THEY GOT HERE

Pac-Man Fever

ROUND 1: Defeated "Digital Display" by Ready for the World 52-10

ROUND 2: Defeated "Double Dutch Bus" by Frankie Smith 42-21

ROUND 3: Defeated "Radio Ga-Ga" by Queen 44-7

ROUND 4: Defeated "Mr. Roboto" by Styx 41-10

ROUND 5: Defeated "Valley Girl" by Frank and Moon Zappa 25-17

Run for the Roses

ROUND 1: Defeated "The Runner" by Manfred Mann's Earth Band 49-7

ROUND 2: Defeated "Master Blaster (Jammin') by Stevie Wonder 51-0

ROUND 3: Defeated "Wipe Out" by The Fat Boys and the Beach Boys 37-7

ROUND 4: Defeated "Puttin' on the Ritz" by Taco 38-21

ROUND 5: Defeated ""Bruce" by Rick Springfield 37-7

Final Score: Pac-Man 42, Roses 13.  Buckner and Garcia's bunch ducked and dodged and gobbled up yardage against the a Fogelberg team used to going straight forward and powering ahead.  That approach wasn't enough against the Pac's quickness, and the Roses soon ran out of lives and were forced to walk away from the tournament.  But life after the tournament seems like it will be pretty good for the Rose boys.  Their team owner has lined them up some very special "appointments," in order to create the next generation of stars, so they feel like winners in spite of this loss.