Finally, the follow up to the podcast episode.
THE LATE NIGHT FRIGHT BOWL
"Thriller," Michael Jackson, 1984
vs. "A Nightmare on My Street," DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, 1988
Final Score: Thriller 37, Nightmare 24. Both teams came in with scary reputations, but the Thrillers just had so many players with almost supernatural talent, and their fancy footwork crushed the dreams of the boys from the Street. And immediately after the game, Jackson's team signed up one of their opponents, a slashing defensive end named Kreuger.
THE MORE TO THE STORY BOWL
"Sequel," Harry Chapin, 1981
vs. "Major Tom (Coming Home)," Peter Schilling, 1983
Final Score: Major 35, Sequel 17. The Schilling air attack proved more effective than Chapin's ground game. The Majors have achieved liftoff on their mission to win this tournament. But will their be glitches as they start advancing further?
THE ALIENS VS. ROBOTS BOWL
"Heartlight," Neil Diamond, 1982
vs. "Who's Johnny," El DeBarge, 1986
Final Score: Heartlight 55, Johnny 5. The Heartlight team came out with a lot of energy, which some attributed to their unorthodox pregame meal of only Reese's Pieces. During points of the game they seemed to be literally flying, and any strategy their opponents came in with was short circuited. After the game, the Johnny players seemed very distressed by rumors that their owner was planning to disassemble the team.
THE NAME DROPPING FAMOUS LADIES BOWL
"Bette Davis Eyes," Kim Carnes, 1981
vs. "Wrap Her Up," Elton John with George Michael, 1985
Final Score: Bette 24, Wrap 7. The Eyes had it on this day, as their opponents failed to live up to their reputation for secure tackling. The Wrappers were teased, uneased, and rolled like dice. Carnes' crew looks ahead to the next round.
THE RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA BOWL
"Burning Heart," Survivor, 1986
vs, "Spies Like Us," Paul McCartney, 1986
Final Score: Heart 42, Spies 3. The Survivor squad had much more desire, and they fought hard the whole way, while the Spies seemed to just blend into the background for most of the game, only occasionally springing into action. The Burning boys may have a rocky road ahead, but they look like they will be difficult to knock out.
THE GET YOUR POPCORN READY BOWL
"The Empire Strikes Back," Meco, 1980
vs. "Pop Goes the Movies," Meco, 1982
Final Score: Pop 13, Empire 10. A more varied playbook gave the Pop team a narrow win. The Strikes force had a late field goal
attempt to tie the game, but just before the snap, the holder said something to the kicker that seemed to make the boy lose his focus and boot the ball far, far away from the goalposts.
THE WHO YOU GONNA CALL BOWL
"Ghostbusters," Ray Parker Jr., 1984
vs. "On Our Own," Bobby Brown, 1989
Final Score: Ghostbusters 28, Own 21. The two teams came in with similar skills and firepower, but the Busters proved to be just a little more fearless. Bobby's team found them just a little too hot to handle, and slightly too cold to hold.
THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS BOWL
"Theme from The Dukes of Hazzard," Waylon Jennings, 1980
vs. "Theme from The Greatest American Hero," Joey Scarbury, 1981
Final Score: Hazzard 28, Hero 6. Well, them Duke boys found themselves matched up with a team dressed in funny uniforms that seemed to help them do some impressive things. But those guys didn't always seem to know what to do with these powers, and with old fashioned Hazzard County ingenuity, and a little distraction from Daisy on the sidelines, the Dukes won without much trouble. And boy, did that make Boss Hogg mad.
THE LUKE AND LAURA DO THE TRUFFLE SHUFFLE BOWL
"General Hospi-tale," The Afternoon Delights, 1981
vs. "The Goonies R Good Enough," Cyndi Lauper, 1985
Final Score: Hospi-Tale 48, Goonies 0. The Delights romped over their inexperienced opponents, who weren't even bolstered by the late addition of professional wrestlers to their roster. But even while dominating the game, the General sideline seemed to be the site of a lot of drama and intrigue. Will it ultimately destroy them? Tune in next time to find out.
THE DARK KNIGHT BOWL
"Batdance," Prince, 1989
vs. "Partyman," Prince, 1989
Final Score: Dance 49, Party 10. The Batdance squad dazzled with their unpredictable tempo on offense, while the Partymen seemed to treat the game as a joke. I've seen the future, and it will be Batdance playing in the second round.
THE ROLLER SKATING IN THE THUNDERDOME BOWL
"Xanadu," Olivia Newton-John and Electric Light Orchestra, 1980
vs. "We Don't Need Another Hero," Tina Turner, 1985
Final Score: Xanadu 21, Hero 17. The Xanadu team opted to play in their skates, and it took them a while to adjust to the unforgiving Thunderdome surface. But with some otherworldly assistance and the fancy footwork of veteran halfback Gene Kelly combined to give them the win. Turner's team did need another hero after all.
THE OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE EAST COAST BOWL
"Theme from New York, New York," Frank Sinatra, 1980
vs. "Key Largo," Bertie Higgins, 1982
Final Score: New York 35, Key Largo 16. Things seemed to get off on the wrong foot for the Largo team when one of their captains asked the referee before the game in he knew how to whistle. He did, and it also turned out that he knew how to throw penalty flags, and he called the majority of fouls on Bertie's boys, including several delay of game infractions for trying to impress him with Humphrey Bogart impressions. That and the seemingly tireless efforts of the New Yorkers gave Frank's team a comfortable win. They made it here, but can they do so elsewhere?
THE DIVA MOVIE STAR BOWL
"The Way He Makes Me Feel," Barbra Streisand, 1984
vs. "Wind Beneath My Wings," Bette Midler, 1989
Final Score: Wind 10, Feel 6. More drama than action in this game. The Wings were inspired to score the game's only touchdown by one of their former players, who has been ill lately. In the postgame press conference, losing coach Streisand seemed to be less interested in talking about what happened in the game than in how her late father felt about her team's effort. No word on whether her Papa actually could hear her.
THE RICH PEOPLE DRINKING AND DRIVING BOWL
"I'm Alright," Kenny Loggins, 1980
vs. "Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)," Christopher Cross, 1981
Final Score: Arthur 17, Alright 14 (OT). The consensus before the game was that Loggins team was a Cinderella story, and the Cross crew were a bunch of spoiled millionaires ripe to be upset. It turned out to be a close contest that went to extra time. The Alrighters had a field goal attempt to win, but a gopher running across the field caused the kicker to shank it. The Arthur team made good on their chance, and even though it was only a first round game, they popped champagne in the locker room. The losing team were visited in the locker room by none other than the Dalai Lama, who granted them inner peace, so they've got that got that going for them, which is nice.
THE FOUR LEGS OR 100 BOWL
"White Horse," Laid Back, 1984
vs. "Centipede," Rebbie Jackson, 1984
Final Score: Centipede 34, Horse 31. The Centipede side's depth narrowly prevailed over their opponents' more concentrated horsepower. This result caused great relief for the tournament organizers, who were concerned that the Horse team weren't as laid back as advertised, and that this may indicate problems if they had to submit to drug tests.
THE DETACHABLE WINGS BOWL
"The Bird," The Time, 1985
vs. "Velcro Fly," ZZ Top, 1986
Final Score: Fly 44, Bird 14. Before the game, the Time team filed a preemptive protest on the theory that this tournament shouldn't be for everybody, only the sexy people. And in the game, they found that the Velcros could peel off tacklers seemingly at will, while clinging tenaciously on defense. The protest was immediately dismissed.
The next bracket podcast will be up soon, and the summaries will not take nearly as long to put up, I promise.
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