Late 1974 in Britain. Just days after the date of this chart, the final episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus aired. It was no more. It ceased to be. It was an ex-show. And now for something completely different, here's what the charts looked like.
40 - "Happy Anniversary," Slim Whitman
A country singer from Tampa, Florida, Whitman was bigger here thanat home, as his 1955 hit "Rose Marie" held the record for mostmweeks at #1 for over 35 years. He had his first hit in 17 years with this heartfelt declaration of love to his wife. His voice is strange, but just short of cheesy. There's a reason I backed him over Boxcar Willie in the 80's TV mail order album wars.
39 - "Blue Angel," Gene Pitney
The Connecticut crooner's last solo hit here was this country/schlager number lamenting a childhood sweetheart who left her safe hometown to become a singer, only to become involved with the sex and the drugs. Pretty much the song Forrest Gump would have written about Jenny, if he wasn't an idiot and all.
38 - "Farewell is a Lonely Sound," Jimmy Ruffin
The second reissue this year of one of this Motown stars old Brit hits. I probably like it better than "What Becomes of the Brokenhearted," but it could be another case of lack of saturation airplay making the heart grow fonder.
37 - "Dance the Kung Fu," Carl Douglas
Douglas followed up his defining hit with as song proposing that the moves he promoted in that sing be used for more peaceful purposes. It's better than I imagined, but it still can't overcome the taint of mercenary commercialism.
36 - "Under My Thumb," Wayne Gibson
This London singer got his only hit when his 1966 cover of a Stones song about exercising control over a woman got picked up by Northern Soul DJs. It's inferior to the original in every way. The only thing it has can say is that the Stones never put it out as a single, so Gibson's is the bigger hit by default. Ah, the two sweetest words in the English language.
35 - "Minuetto Allegretto," The Wombles
The trash-collecting critters again, this time with a song about how Uncle Bulgaria owes his long life to his mastering of a French social dance. I'm used to British weirdness. Or at least I thought so. Listening to this reawakened my WTF. How is this a thing?
34 - "Lonely This Christmas," Mud
Following the success of Slade's "Merry Xmas Everybody" the previous year, these Surrey glammers put out their own Yuletide record, a holiday-themed breakup lament. It succeeded in snaring the Christmas #1, but to me it's just limp cheese.
33 - "Only You," Ringo Starr
Ringo does a soft-rock Platters cover, with help from John Lennon and Harry Nilsson. It grows on you.
32 - "Let's Get Together Again," The Glitter Band
The third hit on their own by Gary's backup was this fun, danceable reunion request. It's always nice to be able to enjoy the sound without the odious aftertaste left by a certain scumbag.
31 - "Sound Your Funky Horn," KC and the Sunshine Band
The second of two hits Harry Casey and co. had before their American breakthrough. It's grittier and less produced than the songs that made them ubiquitous.. They had straight funk chops, but they went in the more lucrative direction. Can't really blame them, I suppose.
30 - "All of Me Loves All of You," The Bay City Rollers
The fifth hit by the Scottish bubblegum rockers was this bouncy bit of empty calories. A three minute sugar rush, then you forget about it and slowly reorient to the world around you.
29 - "Down on the Beach Tonight," The Drifters
Another from their post-Ben E. King 70s British heyday. It's like the upbeat version of "Under the Boardwalk." These guys were doing fine work, even if they had to leave home to be recognized for it.
28 - "Get Dancin'," Disco Tex and His Sex-O-Lettes
Another spin of those doo-dahs from Sir Monti Rock. It's like what would happen if a coke fiend commandeered the dancers from The Dean Martin Show. It would almost make Dean spit out his drink, before he would stop short, not willing to waste good booze.
27 - "Tell Me Why," Alvin Stardust
The first of the glamthrob's singles not to hit the Top Ten. Makes sense to me. Just a subpar rockabilly ballad, sung competently at best.
26 - "Goodbye, Nothing to Say," The Javells and Nosmo King
The only hit for Londoner Stephen Jameson was this bit of prefab Northern soul. Not bad, but clearly an imitation. And yes, we get the joke behind the "singer's" name. Don't worry, I don't.
25 - "Never Turn Your Back on Mother Earth," Sparks
The third hit by the iconoclastic Mael brothers was this midtempo ballad about the destructive power of nature. I'd love to see them perform this on the White House lawn with guest vocalist Greta Thunberg.
24 - "Sha-La-La (Make Me Happy)," Al Green
Only the third Top 20 here for the soul legend. That surprises me. But I won't dwell on it, just get lost in Al's vocal silk and the bed of Memphis soul Willie Mitchell tucks it into.
23 - "Where Did All the Good Times Go," Donny Osmond
Donny's voice cracked, and while he could still carry a tune, he just didn't have the same charm at first. He couldn't sell big pop productions like this as well with the new voice, and thus, his golden era ended. Suddenly an idea such as, I don't know, a variety show with his sister, seemed appealing.
22 - "How Long," Ace
The Sheffield band's one big moment, this soul-rocker about learning of infidelity, went Top Five in North America but only hit #20 here. Paul Carrack would make out all right afterward, but the rest of them couldn't get even another ball over the net.
21 - "Junior's Farm," Paul McCartney and Wings
Macca with a nice rocker about a farm he stayed at in Tennessee and how he cheats at poker. It's got a loose, "Get Back" kind of feel. It would have been nice if he'd done more of this.
In Part Two: spices, gems, and sorcery.
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