February 1980. The major story in Britain was Louis Edwards, the chairman of Manchester United, who had been accused in a television news story of making illegal payments to parents of young soccer prospects and bribing education officials to allow him to supply subpar meat from his meat processing business to schools. The accusations were not fully investigated due to Edwards' death from a heart attack at the end of the month. On a happier note, these were the popular, non-dangerous songs of the moment.
40 - "Captain Beaky," Keith Michell
From Australia, Michell emigrated to England in the 50s, and began a long acting career, primarily on the stages of London and Broadway. He also charted twice, most successfully with this children's poem set to music. It tells the tale of the title bird and his animal friends who fancy themselves defenders of their forest. They take it upon themselves to chase out disruptive snake Hissing Sid. After debating the best course of action, they decide to send out Timid Toad as bait for the serpent, and after being inadvertently swallowed, he somehow allows them to chase Sid out of the woods and escape in the nick of time. It's very convoluted, and delivered in a rapid-fire narration over what sounds like fox hunting music. And it all somehow reached the Top Five. Yes, this week's Uneasy Rider race is over before it even begins.
39 - "I've Got to Love Somebody," Sister Sledge
Philadelphia's Sledge sisters had their fifth hit here with this disco-funker about trying to find someone with whom "to share popcorn and jellybeans. I'm not sure whether or not that's a euphemism. All in all, it sounds a bit too similar to "We Are Family" for my liking.
38 - "I Only Want to Be with You," The Tourists
This New Wave five-piece had a handful of hits, the biggest being this straightforward cover of Dusty Springfield's 1964 debut hit. Oh, and their singer and lead guitarist were people named Annie Lennox and Dave Stewart, who would soon splinter off and form the somewhat well-remembered Eurythmics.
37 - "And the Beat Goes On," The Whispers
The L.A. soul group went Top 20 at home and #2 here with this funky tune about surviving lost love. Hard not to dance to.
36 - "Baby I Love You," The Ramones
After four albums, the pioneering New York punks had gained a cult following and critical acclaim, but were still looking for a commercial breakthrough. So they accepted an offer from Phil Spector to produce their next LP, End of the Century. Not surprisingly, Spector's meticulous methods and perfectionism caused the band a great deal of stress, to the point where singer Joey is the only band member performing on this heavily arranged cover of a 1963 hit Spector had originally produced for The Ronettes. Joey sings it the best he can, but you can tell there is nothing remotely Ramoney about it. And funnily enough, it was their only Top Ten. If you want to hear the two warring sensibilities come together in a less awkward way, listen to "Do You Remember Rock n'Roll Radio."
35 - "The Plastic Age," The Buggies
The Wimbledon duo of Trevor Horn and Geoff Downes had a #1 at the end of '79 with the immortal "Video Killed the Radio Star." Their follow-up was this synth-rocker about the pitfalls of living in an increasingly technology and convenience-driven world. Another winner, in any age.
34 - "Mama's Boy," Suzy Quatro
Suzy's last solo Top 40 was this rocker that questions the manhood of a suitor, even using the term "closet case." Definitely of its time. She did so many better things.
33 - "Rapper's Delight," The Sugarhill Gang
In 1979, singer-turned-label-owner Sylvia Robinson discovered three young men in Englewood, New Jersey who were performing a style called "rap." She then took "Wonder Mike" Wright, "Big Bank Hank" Jackson, and Guy "Master Gee" O'Brien into a studio and let them rhyme over a beat that included a lot of elements of Chic's "Good Times." The result was the mainstream introduction of a new genre, which cracked the American Top 40, hit the Top Five over here, and even was a #1 in good old Canada. It introduced many of the genre's trope sayings ("Yes Yes Y'all," "And you don't stop," etc.) and included the memorable tales of Hank stealing Lois Lane from Superman and Mike leaving a friend's house because of the horrific food being served there (and initiating hip-hop's first major brand name drop, of diarrhea medication Kaopectate). A milestone, and fun too.
32 - "Strange Little Girl," Sad Cafe
The second of four hits by these Mancunians was this new wavey number about an odd female. I hear a little bit of ELO in it. They may not have intended that, but for me, it works.
31 - "Jane," Jefferson Starship
This was JeffStar's only hit here. Britain once again shows off its discriminating taste. Maybe it was because the bridge had a bit of a reggae sound to it.
30 - "Save Me," Queen
Queen's first single release of the decade was this desperate power ballad about feeling lost after the dissolution of a relationship. Who better than Freddie to dramatize that? No one, that's who.
29 - "Three Minute Hero," The Selecter
From Coventry, this band was part of the 2 Tone ska revival that was rising at the time. They stood out because they were fronted by a woman, Pauline Black. The third of their five 80s hits was this song that I think is about dreaming of hearing your song on the radio. Well, job done. Very well done.
28 - "Is it Love You're After," Rose Royce
The L.A. funk group'so last hit here was this disco groove about wondering if you're being pursued seriously or just for temporary fulfillment. Disco may have been dying, but it was still being practiced very capably in some circles.
27 - "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)," Rupert Holmes
Holmes is a dual U.S. and U.K. citizen, but his gimmicky cheese touchstone was not only denied a triple crown by his birthplace, it didn't even crack the Top Twenty. Maybe it's because "getting caught in the rain" isn't as much of an anomaly in Britain.
26 - "I Have a Dream," ABBA
The fifteenth Top Ten for the Swedes was this ballad about optimism and believing in angels and such. They throw in a children's choir for good measure. Although that apparatus would be better used by another song on this chart.
25 - "We Got the Funk," Positive Force
The only hit for these Pennsylvanians was this dance track about the funk and who is in possession of it. I would say these guys have some of it, but certainly not all.
24 - "Another Brick in the Wall Part II," Pink Floyd
The Triple Crown-winning request for educational laissez-faire. It still gets me how bratty that children's choir sounds.
23 - "Too Hot," Kool and the Gang
This smooth disco tune was just their second hit here. They missed the best parts. That's too cold.
22 - "Buzz Buzz a Diddle It," Matchbox
The second hit for the Middlesex rockabilly crew was this decent retro number whose title is apparently meant to represent static on a telephone line. One of the better tracks I've heard from the whole U.K. 50s revival scene.
21 - "Spirits (Having Flown)," The Bee Gees
The last gasp of the Gibbs' disco period was this shuffling midtempo ballad where Barry tries to win a lady with a lot of weather metaphors. Not one of their best, and approprivate given the dark clouds ahead for their career.
In Part Two: youth, girls, and covers.
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