However, I recently discovered a Canadian government archive containing pictures of the actual national charts from the now-defunct R.P.M. magazine from 1964 to 2000, and having gone through them, I've hit upon a way to cover historic charts from my homeland once a month.
So what I'm going to do is, I'm going to pick a week in the month we're in, look at the Canadian Top 50, and pick out songs from 50-11 that didn't make the U.S, or U.K. Top 40, or if they did, I can’t say for sure at this time I'll ever cover their appearances on those charts. I'll also give special attention to qualifying songs that were also classified as "Canadian Content" or CanCon. Those songs got that label because at least two of four main aspects of the song (Music, Artist, Production, Lyrics; arranged that way to form the so-Canadian acronym MAPL) were performed by Canadians. We'll learn more about how that works as we go. Then, I'll give a rundown of the Top Ten. Simple, right?
So our first northern excursion takes us to July of 1982. This month, Canada retired our first communications satellite, Anik 1. Also, Karen Baldwin became the first Canuck to win the Miss Universe pageant. Fortunately for her, this was long before Trump owned it. And when we turned on our local AM pop stations, these are among the songs we heard.
49 - "No One Like You," Scorpions
The German hard rock institution went to #1 on the American rock radio charts with this power semi-ballad, but it had more pop success north of the 49th Parallel. The ESL lyrics aren't as awkward as one might hope, but Klaus Meine's heavily accented delivery makes up for that. Just behind "Rock You Like a Hurricane," among their big hits, but neither come close to 1980's U.K, #75, "The Zoo."
45 - "Foolin' Yourself," Aldo Nova (CanCon!)
Montreal guitarist Aldo Caparuscio went to #14 here and #23 in the States with debut single "Fantasy," but the follow-up was only a #65 down south, and content regulation probably are what pushed it into the Top 50 here. It's just a rock love song, without the intriguing sleaze of its predecessor. It reminds me of White Lion, but without whatever inscrutable magic that makes me like "Wait" so much.
40 - "Mega Force," 707
This Michigan band was a late signing to the infamous Casablanca Records, and managed an American #52 in 1980 with "I Could be Good for You." Two years later, having followed their old label's honchos to start-up imprint Boardwalk, they found themselves rising into the twenties in Canada with the title song to a futuristic action film starring the guy who played Brad in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Generic pump-up 80s rock in the vein of Journey or Night Ranger. More like a microforce.
39 - "Too Many Times," Mental as Anything
This band from Sydney, Australia formed in 1976, had their first hit at home three years later, and three years after that had a minor hit in Britain and Canada with this jaunty tune about trying to get over someone by overindulgence. It's kind of cool, in a Lovin' Spoonful sort of way.
38 - "Standing on the Top," The Temptations featuring Rick James (CanCon!.
When I first saw the little CanCon symbol beside this song, I didn't get it. I mean, James is from Buffalo and the Temps are from Detroit. Do border cities count as Canada? Actually, my best guess is that James qualified because of the years he spent in Toronto in the 60s avoiding deployment to Vietnam, during which he played with Neil Young in the band The Mynah Birds. Anyway, the song's decent funk about fairweather friends, with a nice hat tip to P-Funk. If it took rule stretching to make it a hit here, I'm okay with that.
33 - "Enough is Enough," April Wine (CanCon!)
From Montreal via the Maritimes, this band were a near-constant presence on Canadian pop radio for over a decade. Their 22nd Top 50 was this song about a girl. And I'm not sure what else. The lyrics talk of fleurs-de-lys, limousines, fights, movies, and trying to make it to showsay on time. Doesn't matter, I suppose. It's good hard rock with a singalong chorus. That's enough.
32 - "Six Months in a Leaky Boat," Split Enz
From New Zealand, and featuring future Crowded House members Paul Heater and Neil and Tim Finn. They're biggest international hit was 1980's "I Got You," but their biggest hit here was this Top Ten that compares Neil Finn's battle with depression to the voyage of the first white settlers of Australia and New Zealand from Britain. It's just a fantastic pop song. Unfortunately, it wasn't a hit in the U.K. because radio stations there thought a song about a leaky boat was inappropriate for airplay while the British Navy was engaged in combat in the Falkland Islands.
21 - "Eyes of a Stranger," Payola$ (CanCon!)
Formed in Vancouver and led by Winnipeg-born Bob Rock and Yorkshire, England's Paul Hyde, this band had some success, but their most enduring moment is this New Waver about sensing deception in a lover. It really deserved to be big in other places too. There are rumors that American radio didn't want to play a band whose name was derived from their industry's biggest scandal. Anyway, the band broke up in '86, Rock and Hyde continued as a duo for one album, then they went their separate ways, with Rock going on to produce many big records, including six Metallica albums, from the megaselling Black Album to the doomed St. Anger. I've always hoped that someday Metallica would pay tribute to Rock by covering this. I can just hear Hetfield: "You've got theeeIIIEEEEEEEEEES of a stran-JAH!" Sadly, I don't have the power to make any artist anywhere record any song I want. Which is also why you'll never here the awesome version of Radiohead's "Karma Police" that Macy Gray does in my head.
20 - "Dance Wit' Me," Rick James (Ummmm...CanCon.)
Rick benefits from our largesse again, this time with party funk in which he decides that "fire" rhymes with "shower," That doesn't even rhyme with the Canuck accent. What was he thinking aboot, eh?
19 - "Your Daddy Don’t Know," Toronto (CanCon!)
Not gonna tell you where this band came from, but this was their biggest hit, a Top Five here that even made it to #77 down south. Fantastic rock song about a woman stepping out on her man. Holly Woods is one of the unsung rock chick heroines of the decade.
12 - "Homosapien," Pete Shelley
Lancashire' Peter McNeish was a founder of punk legends The Buzzcocks, but for his first post-breakup solo record, he went in a synthpop direction on this song that pretty thinly veils a message celebrating gay relationships and making the case for their acceptance. The U.K. banned it, and it didn't get far beyond dance clubs in America, but both Canada and Australia made it a Top Ten. Yay us. Beyond the message, it's a catchy, fun song. And it makes history now by becoming Canada's first Uneasy Rider.
All you kids out there, watch this Top Ten.
10 - "The Other Woman," Ray Parker Jr,
Ray's solo debut was a Top Ten on both sides of the border. But Australia made it a #1. That hussy, giving him what he couldn't get at home.
9 - "Crimson and Clover," Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Joan covers the Shondells. A Can-Am Top Ten, and deservedly so.
8 - "Going to a Go-Go," The Rolling Stones
This live cover of a 1965 Miracles hit didn't even make the Top 20 in the U.S. or U.K., but we made it a Top Ten. We're generous like that.
7 - "Rosanna," Toto
Not about Rosanna Arquette, has a complicated drum pattern, was a big hit, won a Grammy, I'd rather listen to "Africa."
6 - "Eye of the Tiger," Survivor
The first Triple Crown #1 we've run across. Not a surprise,
5 - "Hurts So Good," John Cougar
This was his first Top Ten at home, but here he'd already had one the year before with "Ain't Even Done With the Night." And I like that song better. Not that this isn't very good, but still.
4 - "Abracadabra," The Steve Miller Band
#1 in the States, but it only got this high here. It didn't "reach out and grab" us quite as tightly, I guess.
3 - "Body Language," Queen
Another example of our generosity is how this one only went to #25 and #11 in Britain and America respectively, but we pushed it this high. I guess we just liked synthpop Freddie better than those snobs.
2 - "Ebony and Ivory," Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
Another Triple Crown winner. Oh Lord, why can't those two geniuses have come up with a better song than this.
And at #1 in the Great White North 35 years ago was..
1 - "I've Never Been to Me," Charlene
The piece of blecch that was resuscitated four years after it flopped, and should have stayed dead. Backward, saccharine excrement. And it was the good old U.S.A. that prevented it from the Triple Crown. God Bless America.
So there's our first look at my country's musical history. We'll be back to Britain next time, but we'll come back home once a month. Bye for now.
Montreal guitarist Aldo Caparuscio went to #14 here and #23 in the States with debut single "Fantasy," but the follow-up was only a #65 down south, and content regulation probably are what pushed it into the Top 50 here. It's just a rock love song, without the intriguing sleaze of its predecessor. It reminds me of White Lion, but without whatever inscrutable magic that makes me like "Wait" so much.
40 - "Mega Force," 707
This Michigan band was a late signing to the infamous Casablanca Records, and managed an American #52 in 1980 with "I Could be Good for You." Two years later, having followed their old label's honchos to start-up imprint Boardwalk, they found themselves rising into the twenties in Canada with the title song to a futuristic action film starring the guy who played Brad in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Generic pump-up 80s rock in the vein of Journey or Night Ranger. More like a microforce.
39 - "Too Many Times," Mental as Anything
This band from Sydney, Australia formed in 1976, had their first hit at home three years later, and three years after that had a minor hit in Britain and Canada with this jaunty tune about trying to get over someone by overindulgence. It's kind of cool, in a Lovin' Spoonful sort of way.
38 - "Standing on the Top," The Temptations featuring Rick James (CanCon!.
When I first saw the little CanCon symbol beside this song, I didn't get it. I mean, James is from Buffalo and the Temps are from Detroit. Do border cities count as Canada? Actually, my best guess is that James qualified because of the years he spent in Toronto in the 60s avoiding deployment to Vietnam, during which he played with Neil Young in the band The Mynah Birds. Anyway, the song's decent funk about fairweather friends, with a nice hat tip to P-Funk. If it took rule stretching to make it a hit here, I'm okay with that.
33 - "Enough is Enough," April Wine (CanCon!)
From Montreal via the Maritimes, this band were a near-constant presence on Canadian pop radio for over a decade. Their 22nd Top 50 was this song about a girl. And I'm not sure what else. The lyrics talk of fleurs-de-lys, limousines, fights, movies, and trying to make it to showsay on time. Doesn't matter, I suppose. It's good hard rock with a singalong chorus. That's enough.
32 - "Six Months in a Leaky Boat," Split Enz
From New Zealand, and featuring future Crowded House members Paul Heater and Neil and Tim Finn. They're biggest international hit was 1980's "I Got You," but their biggest hit here was this Top Ten that compares Neil Finn's battle with depression to the voyage of the first white settlers of Australia and New Zealand from Britain. It's just a fantastic pop song. Unfortunately, it wasn't a hit in the U.K. because radio stations there thought a song about a leaky boat was inappropriate for airplay while the British Navy was engaged in combat in the Falkland Islands.
21 - "Eyes of a Stranger," Payola$ (CanCon!)
Formed in Vancouver and led by Winnipeg-born Bob Rock and Yorkshire, England's Paul Hyde, this band had some success, but their most enduring moment is this New Waver about sensing deception in a lover. It really deserved to be big in other places too. There are rumors that American radio didn't want to play a band whose name was derived from their industry's biggest scandal. Anyway, the band broke up in '86, Rock and Hyde continued as a duo for one album, then they went their separate ways, with Rock going on to produce many big records, including six Metallica albums, from the megaselling Black Album to the doomed St. Anger. I've always hoped that someday Metallica would pay tribute to Rock by covering this. I can just hear Hetfield: "You've got theeeIIIEEEEEEEEEES of a stran-JAH!" Sadly, I don't have the power to make any artist anywhere record any song I want. Which is also why you'll never here the awesome version of Radiohead's "Karma Police" that Macy Gray does in my head.
20 - "Dance Wit' Me," Rick James (Ummmm...CanCon.)
Rick benefits from our largesse again, this time with party funk in which he decides that "fire" rhymes with "shower," That doesn't even rhyme with the Canuck accent. What was he thinking aboot, eh?
19 - "Your Daddy Don’t Know," Toronto (CanCon!)
Not gonna tell you where this band came from, but this was their biggest hit, a Top Five here that even made it to #77 down south. Fantastic rock song about a woman stepping out on her man. Holly Woods is one of the unsung rock chick heroines of the decade.
12 - "Homosapien," Pete Shelley
Lancashire' Peter McNeish was a founder of punk legends The Buzzcocks, but for his first post-breakup solo record, he went in a synthpop direction on this song that pretty thinly veils a message celebrating gay relationships and making the case for their acceptance. The U.K. banned it, and it didn't get far beyond dance clubs in America, but both Canada and Australia made it a Top Ten. Yay us. Beyond the message, it's a catchy, fun song. And it makes history now by becoming Canada's first Uneasy Rider.
All you kids out there, watch this Top Ten.
10 - "The Other Woman," Ray Parker Jr,
Ray's solo debut was a Top Ten on both sides of the border. But Australia made it a #1. That hussy, giving him what he couldn't get at home.
9 - "Crimson and Clover," Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Joan covers the Shondells. A Can-Am Top Ten, and deservedly so.
8 - "Going to a Go-Go," The Rolling Stones
This live cover of a 1965 Miracles hit didn't even make the Top 20 in the U.S. or U.K., but we made it a Top Ten. We're generous like that.
7 - "Rosanna," Toto
Not about Rosanna Arquette, has a complicated drum pattern, was a big hit, won a Grammy, I'd rather listen to "Africa."
6 - "Eye of the Tiger," Survivor
The first Triple Crown #1 we've run across. Not a surprise,
5 - "Hurts So Good," John Cougar
This was his first Top Ten at home, but here he'd already had one the year before with "Ain't Even Done With the Night." And I like that song better. Not that this isn't very good, but still.
4 - "Abracadabra," The Steve Miller Band
#1 in the States, but it only got this high here. It didn't "reach out and grab" us quite as tightly, I guess.
3 - "Body Language," Queen
Another example of our generosity is how this one only went to #25 and #11 in Britain and America respectively, but we pushed it this high. I guess we just liked synthpop Freddie better than those snobs.
2 - "Ebony and Ivory," Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
Another Triple Crown winner. Oh Lord, why can't those two geniuses have come up with a better song than this.
And at #1 in the Great White North 35 years ago was..
1 - "I've Never Been to Me," Charlene
The piece of blecch that was resuscitated four years after it flopped, and should have stayed dead. Backward, saccharine excrement. And it was the good old U.S.A. that prevented it from the Triple Crown. God Bless America.
So there's our first look at my country's musical history. We'll be back to Britain next time, but we'll come back home once a month. Bye for now.
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