Finishing.
20 - "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy," Rod Stewart
Rod's disco opus. Is it dumb trendhopping? Yes. But I still derive joy from it.
19 - "Shooting Star," Dollar
Brit native David Van Day and Canadian-born Thereza Bazar met in 1975 when they both successfully auditioned for a pop group called Guys n' Dolls. They left the group three years later to form their own act, and their first single, this synth-lite number that I think is about friendly aliens, began a career that included ten Top 40s and five Top Tens. This doesn't make me enthusiastic about hearing more from them.\
18 - "One Nation Under a Groove," Funkadelic
One of George Clinton's finest moments. The whole funk, and nothing but the funk
17 - "Always and Forever/Mind Blowing Decisions," Heatwave
This disco UN had a double-sided hit here. The A-side ballad also charted in the U.S. and was covered here, so I turn my attention to the B, another ballad. This one follow's a man's thought process from the beginning of a relationship, from whether to hold her hand or put his arms around her, up to "marriage or shacking." The conclusion: "Mind blowing decisions causes (sic) head-on collisions." Can't argue with that. Don't even know what it means, exactly.
16 - "I'll Put You Together Again," Hot Chocolate
Errol Brown's funksters were done having American Top 40s, but they were smack in the middle of their run at home when they hit with this big ballad promise to come to a friend's rescue. Better than I would have imagined.
15 - "Greased Lightning," John Travolta
The number from Grease where the T-Birds imagine the beater they're working on as the ultimate hot rod, a "real pussy wagon" that will make "the chicks cream" and result in them "gettin' lotsa tit." Apparently, the lyrics will be toned down for Fox's upcoming live production. Understandable, but kinda sad. And will Murdock (played by Brady kid Eve Plumb) even get to say "Haul ass, kid"?
14 - "I'm Every Woman," Chaka Khan
Chakachakachaka''s future Whitney cover object and Oprah theme. Still some quality empowerment nonetheless.
13 - "Hello This is Joannie," Paul Evans
American singer songwriter Evans had success in the late 50s and early 60s with the U.S, Top Tens "Seven Little Girls Sitting in the Backseat" and "Mr. Happy-Go-Lucky." Then he re-emerged in the U.K. and Australia with this country-pop tune about a guy who has a fight with his girlfriend, then desperately tries to phone her and apologize but only gets her answering machine. He finally gets a call back, but it's Joannie's friend telling him that Joannie crashed her car on the way home and died. As pop tragedy songs go, it's okay.
12 - "A Little More Love," Olivia Newton-John
Like I've said before, this is the real life equivalent of her Sandy donning the tight pants and halter top. It gets attention, but I still prefer what came before.
11 - "I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper," Sarah Brightman and Hot Gossip
Miss Brightman began her theatre career at 13, then was recruited into a TV dance troupe called Hot Gossip. Among the group's numbers was one performed to an original disco song, sung by Brightman, that uses multiple sci-fi references (Star Wars, Star Trek, Flash Gordon, Close Encounters of the Third Kind), as sexual innuendo. It was a hit, and launched Brightman on a career that would fly to it's greatest heights, not coincidentally, during a seven-year marriage to Andrew Lloyd Webber. I wonder if he made her "feel the force"? Anyway, I've decided that this is strange and campy enough to share the Uneasy Rider with the Smurfs. Congrats.
10 - "Too Much Heaven," The Bee Gees
Am I alone in thinking this is a better ballad than "How Deep is Your Love"? It's okay if I am.
9 - "Le Freak," Chic
Between this and "Good Times," they made disco sophisticated. An impressive feat.
8 - "You Don't Bring Me Flowers," Neil Diamond and Barbra Streisand
How did this not end up in an FTD commercial? Or did it and I missed it?
7 - "Mary's Boy Child," Boney M.
The first Frank Farian group to be caught lip-synching other people's voices had their second and last U.K. #1 at Christmas of '78 with their disco-reggae take on a song first popularized by Harry Belafonte. It was my first introduction to the song as a child, and I liked it. Not as much as "Rasputin," though.
6 - "A Taste of Aggro," Barron Knights
These guys from Leighton Buzzard in Bedfordshire had been having parody hits since 1964, acting as kind of a British precursor to "Weird" Al Yankovic. One of their last was a medley of spoofs of three recent #1s: Boney M.'s "Rivers of Babylon" (now about a visit to the dentist), "The Smurf Song" (in which the Smurfs are escaping from prison), and Brian and Michael's "Matchstalk Men and Matchstalk Cats and Dogs" (about a spraypainting vandal instead of a British artist). Didn't really get it, but I'm not British.
5 - "September," Earth, Wind and Fire
Joy encapsulated. I will never not rememBAH this.
4 - "Song for Guy," Elton John
This mournful, mostly instrumental piano piece was written by Sir Elton when he was in a place where he was imagining himself dying. The very next day, 17-year-old Guy Burchett, a messenger boy for John, died in a motorcycle accident, and Elton dedicated the song to him. Beautiful and poignant, and it's a shame it was a hit everywhere else but North America.
3 - "Lay Your Love on Me," Racey
The first of four hits for this London pop band was this jaunty love song in a Bay City Rollers vein, Catchy, disposable, okay.
2 - "Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick," Ian Dury and the Blockheads
From Middlesex, Dury survived a childhood battle with polio, and, after forming The Blockheads, became one of the most respected and influential artists of the British New Wave. He topped the charts with this jumpy pop-rocker where he name checks various worldwide locales on the verses and asks to be beaten with the titular implement on the choruses. What does it mean? I have no idea. And I don't care. Hit me. Hit me! HIT ME!!!
1 - "YMCA," The Village People
I would like to know if even one person on Earth ever found one of these places as fulfilling as these guys made it sound. I'm sure it's provided millions with affordable recreation and cheap housing, but the costumed ones made it sound happier than a thousand Disneylands.
And another one's gone. I'll be back again. Hopefully soon. That's all I can say. Take care in the meantime.
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