The rest of the untold story of the 1970s.
12/9/1978
31 - "Bicycle Race/Fat Bottomed Girls," Queen
Freddie and the boys had one of those "double-sided" hits with this pair of rock staples. On one side, he sings the praises of two-wheeled, foot-powered vehicles while expressing his displeasure with two then-recent blockbuster films ("Jaws was never my scene, and I don't like Star Wars."), On the other, he celebrates the charms of ladies with ample posteriors, who he says "make the rocking world go round." Both songs make references to the other in their lyrics, which is a nice touch. An even nicer touch was hiring 65 models to ride bicycles nude for the video for the former song. Never let it be said that Queen did anything half-assed.
33 - "Run For Home," Lindisfarne
These folkies from Newcastle, England had their only American hit with this string-laden pop song that basically says there's no place like the place you come from. It's all right, and the singer sounds a bit like Elton John, but nothing spectacular.
36 - "There'll Never Be," Switch
This Ohio R&B band featured siblings Bobby and Tommy DeBarge, whose younger siblings would follow in their footsteps and sign to Motown. This band's only pop hit is basically an Earth Wind and Fire knockoff ballad. Not much.
37 - "Instant Replay," Dan Hartman
The former bassist for the Edgar Winter Group had his first solo hit with this number about love so good it should be immediately repeated. If you were to try and find a solid, basic example of what the disco genre was to play for someone who'd never heard of it, this would be a good choice. A nice base to build upon with the better stuff.
38 - "Can You Fool," Glen Campbell
The country superstar's last pop Top 40 was this ballad about not being able to forget a lost love no matter what you do. High-quality MOR.
39 - "My Best Friend's Girl," The Cars
The second hit by the Boston New Wave stars was this jittery rocker on which Ric Ocasek laments that his buddy's girlfriend "used to be mine." I'm not sure how "nuclear boots" and a :"drip-dry glove" make a woman attractive, but obviously they do it for Ric.
7/14/1979
37 - "Minute By Minute," The Doobie Brothers
The follow-up to the massive "What a Fool Believes" was this slow, soulful tune about hanging on one moment at a time after a devastating breakup. This is definitely not what the original Doobies were about, but still, it's very good for what it is.
10/20/1979
36 -"Found A Cure," Ashford & Simpson
Five years before their biggest pop hit, "Solid," this husband and wife songwriting duo cracked the pop charts for the first time with this disco number about love being a remedy for heartache. That message is about as groundbreaking as the song, which is to say not very.
38 - "Fins," Jimmy Buffett
The lead Parrothead's last pop Top 40 was this about a woman being pursued by men, whom Jimmy compares to sharks circling prey. Catchy, but kinda silly.
11/17/1979
14 - "Send One Your Love," Stevie Wonder
Stevie's last Top Five hit of the 70s was this pretty ballad that advises lovers to express their affection for one another by, as the old slogan went, "saying it with flowers." A dozen roses, to be specific. This was the only hit from one of Stevie's odder projects, the soundtrack to a documentary called The Secret Life of Plants. The man was never afraid to try something different.
21 - "Ladies' Night," Kool & The Gang
The first, and probably best, hit of the band's poppier incarnation was this disco ode to those special evenings at clubs when women are given discounts on drinks. Apparently, some jurisdictions are outlawing this practice, classifying it as unlawful gender discrimination. Oh well, at least they can't outlaw the funk.
24 -"Cool Change," The Little River Band
At last, the LRB song I dislike above all others. It was an MOR sailing song a year before Christopher Cross did one, but as much as his sucks, at least it doesn't try to pull off a line like "the albatross and the whales, they are my brothers" with a straight face. I would now like to apologize to Three Dog Night for ever mentioning them in the same sentence as these guys. They were just awful.
27 - "Dream Police," Cheap Trick
The Illinois band's first Top 40 hit not recorded live during a concert in Japan was this paranoid rave-up about "those men inside my brain" who want to arrest Robin Zander for the things he fantasizes about at night. Fantastic power-pop, with brilliant use of strings. Simply a classic. "Surrender" might be just a bit better, but that only hit #62.
28 - "Half The Way," Crystal Gayle
The final solo pop hit for Loretta Lynn's li'l sis was this.none-too-country pop tune with somewhat suggestive lyrics like "fill me up to the top, oh, don't you stop till I'm overflowing." Maybe I'm reading too much into that, but I think I'm somewhere in the ballpark.
30 - "Dreaming," Blondie
The third Top 40 by Debbie Harry and the boys was this pop-rocker that's kind of the opposite of "Dream Police," in that it celebrates the joys of reverie, in part because "dreaming is free." I love all of their hits, but I think I just might love this a touch more than the others.
31 - "Victim Of Love," Elton John
Just before this, Sir Elton had experimented with Philly soul on "Mama Can't Buy You Love," but with this track and the album it came from of the same name, he went full-on disco. You'd think the genre's innate flamboyance would fit him like a pair of oversized sunglasses. It didn't. This isn't great, but it's a masterpiece compared to his disco cover of "Johnny B. Goode." That is the definition of a Thing That Shouldn't Be.
32 - "Better Love Next Time," Dr. Hook
The once-cool interpreters of Shel Silverstein in the midst of their run as disco playlist-fillers. No wonder Sylvia Avery dumped you, Doc.
33 - "I Want You Tonight," Pablo Cruise
The wuss-rock machine had their penultimate Top 40 hit with this hunk of lite disco. I don't know who's going to save you guys, but it won't be me.
35 - "I Need A Lover," John Cougar
This song, written by Mr. Mellencamp himself, was first a hit in Australia, then it was released in America when a cover version by Pat Benatar began getting airplay on rock radio. It's a Springsteenesque number about wanting "some girl to thrill me and then go away." He'd do better in the future, but the raw talent is easily recognizable.
37 - "Confusion," Electric Light Orchestra
Jeff Lynne and his bandmates noodle with synthesizers and sing about feeling lost and alone. One of their lesser works.
38 - "Damned If I Do," The Alan Parsons Project
The British proggers had their third U.S. hit with this song about the only paradox Bart Simpson could think of when the teacher of that gifted class he cheated his way into asked him for one. It comes from Eve, which was apparently a concept album about the struggles of women. From Poe to robots to the Pyramids to...feminism? I guess the progression made sense to them.
40: "We Don't Talk Anymore," Cliff Richard
The British institution scored his second U.S. Top Ten with this synth-disco breakup song. Apparently, this was one of the videos played on the first hour of MTV's existence. I'm not sure how excited I'd have been about this new channel if one of the first things it played was Sir Cliff, with his feathered hair and rainbow-trimmed blue T-shirt, ankle deep in dry ice. Funny to think that in a roundabout way, that paved the way for Teen Mom.
Next time: I climb the mountain of untouched 80s hits.
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