Finishing up '96.
20 - "Free to Decide," The Cranberries
19 - "I Can't Sleep Baby (If I)," R. Kelly
18 - "Birmingham," Amanda Marshall
17 - "When You Love a Woman," Journey
16 - "If It Makes You Happy," Sheryl Crow
The second half opens with Ireland's Cranberries with an alt-rock ballad celebrating the right to make choices. On the chorus, singer Dolores O'Riordan declares "I'm not so suicidal after all." I don't know why, but that seems like a very odd sentence to me. I never liked this band much, with the possible exception of "Dreams." O'Riordan's voice grated on me, and their songs were usually too droney for my taste.
And here we make our first acquanintance with one Robert Sylvester Kelly, a singer known musically for songs about sex, and known outside of his music for...well, you probably know, and if you don't, you probably don't want to. This is one of his tamer numbers, about how he can't get adequate rest without his lover beside him. It's all right, I guess. In related news, he's apparently getting ready to put out more chapters of "Trapped in the Closet." That'll be...interesting.
Next is Toronto singer Amanda Marshall with her only American hit, a Sheryl Crowish tune about an Alabama woman who decides to leave her drunken, abusive, TV-shooting husband. A decent enough song, but I like a few of her Canada-only hits better, especially "Let it Rain."
Then it's the arena rock machine Journey with their last major pop hit, which came from an album they made after a ten-year hiatus that saw their Greatest Hits album become one of the best-selling compilations of its kind ever. This last gasp of the original lineup was a limp power ballad similar in title and lyric to a Bryan Adams hit from the previous year. But the band is still chugging along, and actually selling records, although now their singer is a guy they plucked from a Filipino Journey cover band. You can't keep a good corporation down, as long as they don't stop believin'.
This section closes with the first single from Sheryl Crow's second album, a chugging rocker on which the title phrase is followed by the question "then why the hell are you so sad?" To me, it's her best song. A good pop hook laid on a gritty foundation.
15 - "Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with Money in My Hand," Primitive Radio Gods
14 - "Who Will Save Your Soul," Jewel
13 - "Spiderwebs," No Doubt
12 - "You're Making Me High," Toni Braxton
11 - "Key West Intermezzo (I Saw You First)," John Mellencamp
First among this bunch are Southern California's Primitive Radio Gods and their biggest hit, a hip-hop flavored slice of alt-rock with lyrics about Mother Teresa joining the Mafia and "bath(ing) yourself in zebra flesh." And nothing about phone booths. Weird, but infectious, partly due to its B.B. King-samplying chorus. This week's Uneasy Rider, for sure. Oh, and if you're wondering why they didn't have any more hits, the fact that their next single was entitled "Motherfucker" might give you a clue.
Alaskan Jewel Kilcher spent a few years playing bars across the U.S. while living out of her van before getting signed to a label, and then had to wait a year and a half after the release of her debut album before finally scoring a hit with this cool little folk song about the struggles of life. I loved this song when it came out, so I bought the album. I was extremely disappointed. She was like a real-life version of Phoebe from Friends, only her songs weren't supposed to be funny. Since then, she's put out more albums, tried to be a dance diva and a country songbird, and married a rodeo cowboy. But to me, the only thing she's ever done that matters is this song.
Next are Anaheim, California ska-rockers No Doubt with a song about an ex whose constant attempts to reach Gwen Stefani force her to screen her phone calls. Yes, "Don't Speak" and the hits from Rock Steady were bigger, but this is my favorite of theirs.
Then it's Toni Braxton with her first #1, a strutter about how she gets intoxicated when she thinks about her lover "touching my private parts." Yes, she actually says that. Still, it's probably her best song.
This group is anchored by John Mellencamp's last major pop hit, a jangly number about hanging out with a guy named "Gypsy Scotty" and lusting after Scotty's woman. It's pleasant enough, but it doesn't rank among his best work. He went out with a whimper.
With all precincts now reporting, Bobby Gloves Casey can now declare that these are your Top Ten:
10 - "You Learn," Alanis Morissette
A year after her reinvention, Morissette was now a dominant force on the charts, as evidenced by her having two songs in this week's Top Ten. The first is this midtempo pop-rocker about how one profits from experiencing the ups and downs of life. And she also recommends walking around naked in one's living room. You can do with that suggestion whatever you wish.
9 - "C'mon and Ride It (The Train)," Quad City DJs
When people on 1996 dance floors weren't trying to do the Macarena, they were getting into conga lines to the sound of this dumb-fun Miami bass track. Well, it holds up better than, say, "Da Dip," or "Tootsee Roll."
8 - "Twisted," Keith Sweat
That was still his real name, and he was still having hits, this one being a slinky midtempo track about not being able to get over someone. One of his stronger hits.
7 - "Change the World," Eric Clapton
Slowhand himself teamed up with R&B producer Babyface for this sappy tune from the soundtack of the John Travolta-becomes-a genius movie Phenomenon. Just an inoffensive song meant for shopping malls and dentist's offices. I guess the world needs those. I don't.
6 - "Mouth," Merril Bainbridge
This Aussie's lone American hit was this jaunty pop song about kissing and people jumping on each other. It has a very playful sort of 80's vibe, and the piano on it seems almost like something from an 1880s saloon. A fun song to be reminded of.
5 - "Counting Blue Cars," Dishwalla
The biggest hit for these Santa Barbara alt-rockers was this song about children asking questions about God, who is referred to as "Her." I didn't mind it at the time, but now, it's just one of those songs that belong to its time and its time only.
4 - "Head Over Feet," Alanis Morissette
Alanis again, this time with a ballad about falling in love that was about as lyrically straightforward as she got on Jagged Little Pill. But it still worked. And the harmonica was a nice touch
3 - "Where Do You Go," No Mercy
This Miami trio, brought together by Boney M./Milli Vanilli mastermind Frank Farian, had their first and biggest hit with this Eurodance tune spiced up with Latin guitar and castanet sounds. In terms of look, they were early harbingers of the late 90s boyband era. And yes, as far as I know, these guys actually did sing on their records.
2 - "It's All Coming Back to Me Now," Celine Dion
This Jim Steinman composition was originally recorded in 1989 by a female vocal group he was producing called Pandora's Box. Seven years later, he produced a version for Dion, which became not only a huge hit, but easily my favorite song of hers. Her big voice and dramatic flourishes finally had a suitable showcase in this operatic epic that Steinman apparently based on the novel Wuthering Heights. A decade later, Meat Loaf took a turn at it for the third installment of Bat out of Hell, but for me, Celine's remains the definitive version.
And at the top of the '96 heap, we find...
1 - "I Love You Always Forever," Donna Lewis
This Welshwoman burst on to the scene with her first hit, this discoey number that musically reminds me of Exile's "Kiss You All Over." But for me, the chorus is too sing-songy, and I don't like Lewis' little-girl voice. I wouldn't say I hate this song, but it's one that would definitely make me go out of the way to turn the radio dial.
There were three Request and Dedications. First, a woman who married a much younger man dedicated Celine Dion's "The Power of Love" to him. Then, Mariah Carey's "Hero" was played at the request of another woman, who dedicated it to her sister, who died of cerebral palsy. Finally, a teenage girl asked Casey to play Mike + The Mechanics "The Living Years" to her dad, who lost his own father when he was just six months old.
The highlights of this week's commercials included Wayne Gretzky in a Chunky Soup ad, Jay Leno plugging his book Leading with My Chin, and a spot for Pip Printing that featured the marketing director of a kazoo company, voiced by a then-unknown Jane Lynch. She put on a bit of a Midwestern accent, but you can tell it's her.
There. Now you've actually got a few days to take this in before we head into 1997.
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