This week, it's back to 1987. The Dusky Seaside Sparrow became officially extinct around the time this countdown aired. And here are some of the songs the last of that species may have heard in its final days:
40 - "Looking for a New Love," Jody Watley
39 - "Happy," Surface
38 - "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For," U2
37 - "Big Love," Fleetwood Mac
36 - "I Want Your Sex," George Michael
35 - "The Pleasure Principle," Janet Jackson
34 - "I'd Still Say Yes," Klymaxx
33 - "I'll Still Be Loving You," Restless Heart
32 - "Kiss Him Goodbye," The Nylons
31 - "Right On Track," The Breakfast Club
We begin with the solo artists. Jody Watley is back from last time with her slick strut about moving on. It also gave Arnold Schwarzenegger his Terminator 2 catchphrase, "Hasta la vista, baby" Later , at a Springfield Elementary School President's Day pageant, Bart Simpson changed it to "Hasta la vista, Abie," for his portrayal of John Wilkes Booth. I'm not sure how successful that pageant was, but I think it did better than Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter did this weekend. George Michael is here with the the first single from Faith, which also appeared on the Beverly Hills Cop II soundtrack. It's a funky declaration of unadulterated lust that was deemed too controversial for many radio stations, due to its racy nature. And that line "I don't need no Bible" probably didn't help matters. But for me, it's a solid song that even His Supreme Lustiness, Prince, would have been proud to call his own. And Janet Jackson had her sixth hit from Control with this song that, despite its Freudian title, is actually about a breakup. It was her first Top 40 to miss the Top Ten, and while it's decent enough, that chart performance seems completely justified.
Then we have the American bands. New York R&Bers Surface scored their first pop hit with an okay uptempo song about the woman who gives them joy. The phone call in the middle was a nice touch, but still, not much. Klymaxx, the band with a stripper's name, had their third and final pop hit with this ballas about a relationship that's still as good as it was at the beginning. Not great, but it beats the hell out of "I Miss You." Country band Restless Heart picked up their first pop hit with this ballad about pledging one's love to someone until the end of time and such. It works, but in a way that's interchangeable with dozens of other songs. Nothing distinct. And Madonna's ex-band The Breakfast Club return from last time with their hit about the mating rituals of the New York male. Still nice, fun, forgettable pop.
We finish with the bands from outside the U.S. Ireland's U2 had their second American Top Ten with this evocative number about spiritual searching. Effortlessly anthemic, and definitely one of their best. Anglo-American superstars Fleetwood Mac are back from last time with their song about large affection. Again, it's one I like a lot. And Toronto acapella group The Nylons had their only major American success with this cover of one-hit wonder Steam's 1969 Number One plea for a girl to dump her man. These guys do all right with it, but still, the best versions are the ones performed by sports-stadium crowds at the end of games they know the home team is going to win.
30 - "Rock the Night," Europe
29 - "Soul City," The Partland Brothers
28 - "Rhythm is Gonna Get You," Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine
27 - "Heart and Soul," T'Pau
26 - "Girls, Girls, Girls," Motley Crue
25 - "Endless Nights," Eddie Money
24 - "Notthing's Gonna Change My Love for You," Glenn Medeiros
23 - "Sweet Sixteen," Billy Idol
22 - "Fascinated," Company B
21 - "Every Little Kiss," Bruce Hornsby and the Range
This section kicks off with more bands from outstide the United States. Swedish hair-metallers Europe followed up the immortal "The Final Countdown," with this rocker about letting loose and partying and stuff. It suffers greatly in comparison to its predecessor, but on its own, I imagine it could inspire some mild fist-pumping. Canadians G.P. and Chris Partland made their only impression on the American charts with this slick pop tune about going somewhere to have a good time and not coming back "'til the money's all gone." It's catchy and cool, and the boys harmonize like, well, brothers. An underrated gem. And England's T'Pau, a band named after a Vulcan priestess from a Star Trek episode, had their only American hit with this dance-pop single about desire for an unattainbale lover. I think that's it. For years, I assumed that this group was fronted by two women, but as it turns out, singer Carol Decker sang all the overlapping parts and double-tracked the choruses. Anyway, I've always loved this song, but I think I might like their #1 U.K. hit "China in Your Hand" even better.
Then it's the American groups. Miami Sound Machine, who now gave their sexy singer Gloria Estefan top billing, are here with the first single from the Let it Loose LP. It's a Latin dance track about the inescapablity of a good beat. I think this is much better than "Conga." Metal stars Motley Crue had their second Top 40 hit with this grinding rocker about...you know what, I'll leave that for you to ascertain. But I will mention that it namechecks several strip clubs, so that might be a clue. And not surprisingly, it has been frequently used as musical accompaniment by employees of such establishments over the years. Not a great song, but I can't imagine life without it. Another Miami group, Company B, had their only major pop hit with this Latin-freestyle number on which the singer declares "I'm fascinated by your love toy." Now there's a pickup line. And to me, that's the only remotely fascinating thing about this song. And Bruce Hornsby and the Range had their third hit with this bouncy piano tune about a laborer missing the company of his lover "a thousand miles away." Possibly the most pleasant listen among the group's hits, if not necessarily the best song.
The first half ends with the male solo singers. Edward Mahoney had another of his hits with this bland ballad about loneliness. This guy had many more hits than he deserved. But I don't begrudge him at all. He seems like a nice enough guy. Hawaiian Glenn Medeiros returns from last time with his mushy ballad. Nothing's gonna change my indifference toward it. And Billy Idol is here with an uncharacteristically gentle ballad about how the underage female he gave an engangement ring to ran away from him. And on top of that are some weird lyrics like "Built a moon for a rocking chair," and "Someone's built a candy brain and filled it in." Some very odd construction going on. And thus, in a weak field, Billy wins this week's Uneasy Rider.
Tomorrow: some Australians take us back to a familiar location, a famous rock star drops names, and music to arm-wrestle by.
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