As I wind down the 70s era of this endeavour, we take one last look at 1976. I was a month away from kindergarten, and Jimmy Carter was three months away from his own life-changing event. And this was the soundtrack:
40 - "Summer," War
39 - "A Little Bit More," Dr. Hook
38 - "C'mon Marianne," Donny Osmond
37 - "Shake Your Booty," KC and the Sunshine Band
36 - "Steppin' Out," Neil Sedaka
35 - "Who'd She Coo," The Ohio Players
34 - "Play That Funky Music," Wild Cherry
33 - "Another Rainy Day in New York City," Chicago
32 - "Take the Money and Run," The Steve Miller Band
31 - "Heaven Must be Missing an Angel," Tavares
We begin with pop-rock. War are in a mellower mood than usual on this leisurely, evocative jam that would qualify as a timeless anthem of the warmest of the seasons were it not for its references to 8-track tapes and CB radio. Wild Cherry came out of Steubenville, Ohio and gifted the world this one everlasting hit about a Caucasian learning the ways of the funk. And Steve Miller and his band scored their first hit since "The Joker" with the tale of lovers Billy Joe and Bobbie Sue, who, having "nothing better to do," decide to rob a rich man in El Paso, Texas, and wind up wanted fugitives. So that's what people did before the Internet.
The middle of the road never fails to be catered to. Dr. Hook entered the "Seals and Crofts wannabes" phase of their career with a promise to keep loving a woman even after "your body's had enough of me." Sounds creepy. Donny Osmond scraped into the Top 40 for the last time this decade as a solo artist with a cover of a 1967 Four Seasons hit. You wouldn't guess from its retro sound that this was a single from an album called Disco Train. Neil Sedaka ended his run of mid-70s hits with this piano boogie in which he offers his services to a young lady married to a rich old man who wants to "get a little action on the side." Neil Sedaka, gigolo. I don't see it. And Chicago are here with a deceptively chipper song about Big Apple precipitation. Radio wasn't too big on this song, but they did find another cut on the same album they felt was more commercial, so they played that instead. And that is how the world was cursed with "If You Leave Me Now."
The rest of this section falls into the disco/funk category. Harry Casey's Vitamin D-rich outfit are here with their famed celebration of wiggling one's butt. Unfortunately, Marge cut Homer off with news of Lisa's addiction to the Corey Hotline before he could demonstrate. The Ohio Players don't have much to say on their outing here; they just want you to do the "hoochie koo." I question why they had to spell it differently in the title. It just seems like cleverness for cleverness' sake. But it brings the funk, so all is forgiven. And Tavares turned one of the cheesiest pickup lines ever into a decent disco single. An accomplishment, I suppose.
30 - "Say You Love Me," Fleetwood Mac
29 - "Something He Can Feel," Aretha Franklin
28 - "I'd Really Love to See You Tonight," England Dan and John Ford Coley
27 - "The Boys are Back in Town," Thin Lizzy
26 - "Sophisticated Lady," Natalie Cole
25 - "I Need to Be in Love," The Carpenters
24 - "Young Hearts Run Free," Candi Staton
23 - "A Fifth of Beethoven," Walter Murphy
22 - "Last Child," Aerosmith
21 - "Baby, I Love Your Way," Peter Frampton
Rock kicks us off again. Fleetwood Mac are here with a Christine McVie-written song about being repeatedly seduced by a smooth-talking Lothario. Judging from her contributions to their catalogue, she seems to have been the most sex-obsessed member of the group. Ireland's Thin Lizzy had their only American hit with this familiar rocker about the titular males who bring action and excitement whenever they come into a certain municipality. Yes, I've heard it a lot, but the guitars never fail to move me. Aerosmith are here with a swampy boogie whose lyrics I don't quite understand, but Steven Tyler does refer to a woman as both "my sweet sassafrassy" and "my hot tail poon tang sweetheart," so all is right with the world. And Peter Frampton appears with the sweet, talk-box-free ballad that I'm sure was responsible for a large percentage of Frampton Comes Alive's monster sales. I imagine there was as much love made to it in the backs of vans back then as their was to "Dream Weaver." But I'll bet the "Dream Weaver" sex was better, on average.
We have three R&B ladies here. Aretha is here with her final 70s hit, a Curtis Mayfield-written sex ballad from the film Sparkle, which featured among its cast both Irene Cara of Fame fame and Phillip Michael "Tubbs" Thomas. Natalie Cole is here again, and for once, she's out of ballad territory, instead bringing us a funk strut about a "hip, slick sister." Definitely a welcome change of pace. And Candi Staton, whose first pop hit was a 1970 cover of Tammy Wynette's "Stand by Your Man," scored her second and last with this disco tune advising youth to explore the possiblities of life while they can. Definitely a top-flight example of the genre.
Easy listening is eternal. Dan Seals, brother of Crofts' buddy Jim, decided that he should form his own boring-ass pop duo, so he hooked up with schoolmate John Ford Coley. It took them awhile, but they finally broke through with this #2 about wanting to get together with an old female friend. Out of the whole Seals family oeuvre, this is clearly the best song. But that doesn't say much. And the Carpenters were losing commercial steam at this point, but Karen was still bringing the golden pipes on this song about keeping hope amid heartbreak. Her natural habitat.
I'll close with Walter Murphy's disco take on the old Ludwig Van. I covered it pretty well in our first '76 visit, but where it was beaten out by "Disco Duck" for the Uneasy Rider on that occasion, this time their are no dancing mallards to be found, and it wins. Congrats, Walter.
Tomorrow: Disco meets porn, a battle of the "Bea" bands, and the least sexy sex song ever.
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