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Sunday, May 22, 2022
Monday, May 9, 2022
The OMUTURE: The Final
Listen to the episode while reading: https://bobbyglovescasey.blogspot.com/2022/04/the-omyam-podcast-episode-100-omuture.html
"The Curly Shuffle," Jump N The Saddle, 1984
vs. "19," Paul Hardcastle, 1985
THE STATS
The Curly Shuffle:
Label: Atlantic
Debuted on Hot 100: December 3, 1983
Peak Position: #15 (January 21, 1984)
Tournament History
ROUND 1: Defeated "Twilight Tone" by The Manhattan Transfer 44-3 (The Black and White Reruns Bowl)
ROUND 2: Defeated "I Wanna Be a Cowboy" by Boys Don't Cry 47-7 (The Moe Howard and John Wayne Memorial Bowl)
ROUND 3: Defeated "The Clapping Song" by Pia Zadora 49-17 (The Why Slap One Hand When You Have Two Faces In Front of You Bowl)
ROUND 4: Defeated "Walk the Dinosaur" by Was (Not Was) 45-16 (The Have We Really Evolved That Much Since Caveman Times Bowl)
ROUND 5: Defeated "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco 31-14 (The Give Me That Magic Flute, Numbskull Bowl)
QUARTERFINAL: Defeated "General Hospi-Tale" by The Afternoon Delights 31-21(The Inflicting and Repairing Injuries Bowl)
SEMIFINAL: Defeated "Pac-Man Fever" by Buckner and Garcia 33-31 (The Wakka Wakka Wakka vs. Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk Bowl)
Average Points per Game: 40
Average Margin of Victory: 24.4
19:
Label: Chrysalis
Hot 100 Debut: June 1, 1985
Peak Position: #15 (July 20, 1985)
Tournament History
ROUND 1; Defeated "Born in the USA" by Bruce Springsteen 45-19 (The Let Me Tell You Some More About Nam Bowl)
ROUND 2: Defeated "Still in Saigon" by The Charlie Daniels Band 42- 16 (The 1 2 3 What are We Fighting For Bowl)
ROUND 3: Defeated "Another Brick in the Wall Part 2" by Pink Floyd 44-10 (The If Those Kids Don’t Need Education, Send Them Off to War Bowl)
ROUND 4; Defeated "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel 28-14 (The What Happened After Diem Bien Phu Fell Bowl)
ROUND 5: Defeated "One" by Metallica 35-27 (The Outnumbered But Not Outstunned Bowl)
QUARTERFINAL: Defeated: "Turning Japanese" by The Vapors 37-10 (The Make Love Not War Bowl)
SEMIFINAL: Defeated "Don’t Worry Be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin 28-24 (The Sure, You're a Teenager Getting Shot At in a Jungle Thousands of Miles from Home, But Look on the Bright Side Bowl)
Average Points per Game: 37
Average Margin of Victory: 19.9
First Quarter:
The 19s get off to a fast start by returning the opening kickoff for a touchdown, negotiating through a disorganized Shuffle coverage unit. The Curlys struggled on their first possession, but penalties put them in position to kick a field goal that went off the goalpost and through. Hardcastle's troops marched down the field to reach the end zone again, and their opponents responded with an aggressive TD drive of their own.
Score after One Quarter: Nineteen 14, Curly 10.
And now let's go to the sidelines to Dickie Goodman with Curly Shuffle player-coach Moe Howard:
Hey Moe, what do you think of your team's performance so far?
"We were runnin' against the wind."
I'm not sure how that could be, since this game is being played in a dome, but okay. How do you plan to approach the second quarter?
"It'll be just like starting over."
An interesting way of looking at it to be sure. Some people have said that the way you coach your team is bordering on abusive. Have you ever considered taking a gentler tone?
"I can't go for that, no, no, no can do."
I suppose if it ain't broke, don't fix it. You've said you plan to take your players on a Hawaiian vacation if they win. Where will they go if they lose?
"Back on the chain gang"
I should have expected as much. Any final words of encouragement for your team before they return to the field?
"Let's go crazy, let's get nuts, let's look for the purple banana before they put us in the truck."
Thank you. I'm guessing that last part is some sort of code for a play they're going to run. Now let's get back to the action.
Second Quarter:
The offenses continued to reign supreme. The Nineteen squad shocked and awed the Curly defense with a brutal ground attack peppered with aerial fireworks. And on the other side, the Shufflers, although they frequently looked like they were battling each other as much as their opponents, still managed to push forward and remain within pie-throwing distance of the lead. As the gun sounded, the game remained very much up for grabs.
Halftime Score: Nineteen 28, Curly 24.
The halftime show features performances by two acts who might have gone far in this tournament but did not qualify: The Weather Girls ("It's Raining Men," #46, 1983) and The Chicago Bears Shufflin' Crew ("The Super Bowl Shuffle," #41, 1986). We thank them for being such good sports. Now let's have some halftime analysis from Benny Bell.
"The 19 team are battle-hardened
And the Stooges sure know how to hit,
But I think Paul's boys have the advantage
'Cause they're used to being in the...shaving cream,
Be nice and clean,
Shave every day and you'll always look keen."
Thanks for that, Benny. And now, we're ready for more action.
Third Quarter:
This was a harder-hitting and tighter quarter as the teams seemed to realize how close they were to history. The Nineteen quarter showed his inexperience by throwing an interception that the Curlys ran back for a TD, giving them their first lead of the game. But this seemed to strengthen the Hardcastle men's resolve to win at all costs, and they mercilessly marched down the field and into the end zone to regain the lead just before the quarter ended.
Score after the Third Quarter: Nineteen 35, Curly 31.
Before we start the fourth, let's go back to Dickie Goodman, who is now with one of they young members of the Nineteen squad.
Young man, what is your team's motivation for winning this tournament?
"Everybody wants to rule the world."
Can you describe what it's like out there on the field in one word?
"Nasty!"
What do you think your team's chances of winning are?
"Nothing's gonna stop us now."
You sound very certain about that. What is it about your team that makes you so confident?
"Devil inside, devil inside, every single one of us the devil inside."
That leads me to my last question. The way your team has played this entire tournament seems like it is bound to leave you and your teammates with deep physical and emotional scars. So even if you do win, I wonder if when you look back on what you had to do for it you'll think it was worth all the lasting effects. What do you say to that?
"Every rose has its thorn."
Well, that's one way of looking at it. Thanks Dickie. Now let's see what happens in the fourth.
Fourth Quarter:
The Nineteen squad began to take over as the period began, picking up another TD and a field goal. They remained as grimly determined as ever, while Curly and company, used to happy endings after the mayhem, seemed not to know what to do in this situation. A late touchdown gave the Stooges faint hope, but the execution of the subsequent extra point and onside kick attempts was laughable.
Final Score: Nineteen 45, Curly 37.
NINETEEN WINS THE OLD MAN'S ULTIMATE TOURNAMENT OF UNEASY RIDERS OF THE 80S!!!!!!
Congratulations to Paul Hardcastle and his determined young troops for earning ultimate victory. Hopefully this time they will receive a hero's welcome. As for Jump N The Saddle, they can ride off into the sunset knowing that they put in a great effort and provided hours of entertainment for everyone who watched them.
THANKS TO ALL WHO READ AND LISTENED!
WATCH THIS SPACE FOR THE 90S TOURNAMENT!
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