Kicking off the third round with war, cowardice, video games, chess, and more. Follow on YouTube here. And you can support me on Patreon and get extra content here. One listen to this podcast and the world's your oyster.
Friday, January 22, 2021
The OMUTURE: Round 2, Part 3
THE CAN THEY EVEN SEE ME BOWL
"Somebody's Watching Me," Rockwell, 1983
vs. "Manic Monday," The Bangles, 1986
Final Score: Watching 58, Monday 0. The ever vigilant Rockwell team hid their plays very well, and the not-very-well-rested Bangles squad could not do much on this Monday night. The winners changed quickly, not even washing their hair before taking a roundabout, hard-to-follow route to their next game.
THE THAT'S NO PARTICULAR SIGN AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD BOWL
"Kiss," The Art of Noise featuring Tom Jones, 1989
vs. "Love Shack," The B-52s, 1989
Final Score: Shack 31, Kiss 24. This was a close game all the way through, but the B-52s won it by bang, bang, banging on the door of the Noise end zone before shimmying in on a fourth and goal with just seconds remaining. The Jones team just wanted some extra time to try and tie the game, but they were given a kiss-off by the refs.
THE HOW CRAZY WOULD IT HAVE BEEN IF JOHN F. KENNEDY AND THE BEATLES HAD BEEN AT THAT PARTY BOWL
"Wasn't That a Party," The Rovers, 1981
vs. "Life in a Northern Town," The Dream Academy, 1986
Final Score: Party 40, Town 0. The Rovers were guided to an easy victory by their coach, a cat who seemed to know as much about football as he does about hockey. And let's be clear, I'm talking about an actual cat. The Academy team is now leaving the area by train. Bye bye.
THE A POET, A PRIEST AND A POLITICIAN ARE ON A BOAT BOWL
"De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da," The Police, 1980
vs. "Orinoco Flow," Enya, 1989
Final Score: Flow 38, Do 7. Cop logic could not contain or violate Enya's side, who reached and beached into the red zone several times and seemed to run like water into the end zone. Coach Sting was asked to explain the loss after the game, but his answer didn't make any sense.
THE HOT AND COLD RUNNING ENGINES BOWL
"Cars," Gary Numan, 1980
vs."Little Red Corvette," Prince, 1983
Final Score: Cars 28, Corvette 17. As usual, Prince was extremely aggressive in his attempts to score. But Numan's side were able to lock him down sufficiently to safely drive to the next round. But the Prince team left the stadium in limousines, so they surely enjoyed a smooth ride home.
THE CHICKS ARE FREE, BUT MAYBE NOT FOR FREE BOWL
"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," Cyndi Lauper
vs. "Money for Nothing," Dire Straits, 1985
Final Score: Money 35, Girls 14. The difference in this game was the teams' approach. Lauper's ladies were content to just enjoy the experience, while the Straits side took a workmanlike approach and did the heavy lifting necessary to advance. What will the Girls' do with their lives now?
THE IT'S OK, JOHNNY RAY BOWL
"Come on Eileen," Dexy's Midnight Runners, 1983
vs. "Don’t Worry, Be Happy," Bobby McFerrin, 1988
Final Score: Happy 51, Eileen 3. The Runners had a lot of energy and enthusiasm, but at this moment, it meant nothing. McFerrin played in a carefree manner, and it seemed like he could do anything. By the end, Dexy's seemed more about unseemly matters than the game.
THE LET’S ORDER OUT BOWL
"867-5309 (Jenny)," Tommy Tutone, 1982
vs. "Eat It," "Weird" Al Yankovic, 1984
Final Score: Eat 49, Jenny 0. Al's team was much hungrier than the Tutones, eating up yardage like they'd been guilted into it. After the loss, Tommy broke the news of the loss to his friend Jennifer, who immediately hung up on him.
THE REMEMBER MOVIE THEATERS? BOWL
"Pop Goes the Movies," Meco, 1982
vs. "Thriller," Michael Jackson, 1984
Final Score: Thriller 66, Pop 0. A monster win for Jackson's squad. The Force was no longer with Meco, who found that the King of Pop's empire was one he could not strike.
THE SPACE TRAVELERS TRYING TO GET BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM BOWL
"Heartlight," Neil Diamond, 1982
vs. "Major Tom (Coming Home)," Peter Schilling, 1983
Final Score: Heartlight 37, Tom 21. At the beginning, it was Schilling's side for whom everything was going right, while the Heartlight team looked lost. But then the Diamond boys seemed to have a fire lit in their hearts, while the Majors seemed to lose their ability to communicate with each other. And since the loss, no one has seen Tom or any of his teammates.
THE STARS OF THE BIG AND SMALL SCREENS BOWL
"Bette Davis Eyes," Kim Carnes, 1981
vs. "General Hospi-Tale," The Afternoon Delights, 1981
, the
Final Score: Hospi-Tale 38, Eyes 6. Though known for off-field drama, the Delights followed a successful script that was riveting to watch. The Davis team knew they were in for a bumpy night, and some suspected they had spied on their opponents' practices to get an advantage. Well, if they did, it clearly didn't work.
THE PUNCH DRUNK VS DRUNK DRUNK BOWL
"Arthur’s Theme (Best That You Can Do)," Christopher Cross, 1981
vs. "Burning Heart, " Survivor, 1986
Final Score: Heart 34, Arthur 10. The Survivors' fighting spirit easily overcame the careless, disorganized play of Arthur and company. But despite the loss, the champagne flowed in the losing locker room.
THE SQUEALS ON WHEELS BOWL
"Xanadu," Olivia Newton-John and the Electric Light Orchestra, 1980
vs. "Ghostbusters," Ray Parker Jr., 1984
Final Score: Ghostbusters 41, Xanadu 17. The fearless 'Busters had no trouble dealing with some of the otherworldly Xanadu players, leaving the rest of the team uninspired. It's Ray's team that rolls on.
THE DARK KNIGHT ON THE BEACH BOWL
"Wind Beneath My Wings," Bette Midler, 1989
vs. "Batdance," Prince, 1989
Final Score: Batdance 70, Wings 0. The Wind team were blown away by their Bat-opponents, who played with such determination you'd think they were avenging the death of their parents or something. Losing coach Midler still felt grateful for getting as far as she did, and she was heard telling Prince "Did you ever know that you're my hero?"
THE BIG APPLE AND LITTLE SHORTS BOWL
"Theme from New York, New York," Frank Sinatra, 1980
vs. "Theme from The Dukes of Hazzard," Waylon Jennings, 1980
Final Score: New York 27, Hazzard 16. Well, them Duke boys finally met their match in this city slicker in the fancy duds. They were so wowed by his description of urban life that they sold the General Lee and are now the fastest cabbies in all of Manhattan. And Daisy followed them to the Big Apple, and her trademark cutoff britches made her the toast of the fashion world. Boss Hogg tried to get in on the action by opening a new Boar's Nest in Times Square, but it closed after a month.
THE SQUISH IT! BOWL
"Centipede," Rebbie Jackson, 1984
vs. "Velcro Fly," ZZ Top, 1986
Final Score: Fly 35, Centipede 10. The Top team secured most of the possession and were able to snatch a few turnovers. Jackson's team just didn't have the legs to keep up.
Thursday, January 14, 2021
The OMYAM Podcast Episode #50: January 9, 1990
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