20 - "The Story of the Blues," Wah!
Wah! was essentially Liverpudlian Pete Wylie, a New Wave scene fixture whose biggest hit was this bit o' synthpop about feeling bad. Not nearly as interesting as the credited name.
19 - "Twisting by the Pool," Dire Straits
19 - "Twisting by the Pool," Dire Straits
Mark Knopfler's crew had their fifth home Top 40 with this aytipically exuberant rock song about getting away from it all at some warm holiday destination. Just happiness and fun from an unlikely source.
18 - "The Cutter," Echo and the Bunnymen
Their first of three Top Tens was this gothy number about...um, not wanting to be cut, I think. Doesn't matter, it's these guys doing what they do best.
17 - "You Can't Hurry Love," Phil Collins
His first of three Number Ones here was this Supremes cover. Again, it's surprisingly good.
16 - "Never Gonna Give You Up," Musical Youth
16 - "Never Gonna Give You Up," Musical Youth
This Birmingham reggae boy band is known only for first hit "Pass the Dutchie," in the U.S., but back home they had five more Top 40s, including this loping pledge of teenage romantic devotion. Definitely better than that Rick Astley song. It rolls right over it.
15 - "Love on Your Side," Thompson Twins
15 - "Love on Your Side," Thompson Twins
The second Top Ten for the unrelated trio was this burbly popper about trying to start a relationship with someone who isn't cooperating. Or something like that. My lyric interpretation software may need an upgrade. Good song, regardless.
14 - "The Tunnel of Love," Fun Boy Three
The first of two Bananarama-free Top Tens for these ex-Specials was this cool slice of tango-pop about how young romance is doomed to end in heartbreak and divorce. Bleak worldview aside, this is fantastic stuff.
13 - "Last Night a DJ Saved My Life," Indeep
The only hit for this New York funk outfit was this dance classic about how a woman was spared from dwelling on her cheating man by a disc jockey playing just the right song. I wish there wasn't a problem I couldn't fix because of my ability to do so in the mix. Life would be so much easier.
12 - "Christian," China Crisis
12 - "Christian," China Crisis
From the Liverpool suburb of Kirkby, this band scored their first of five Too 40s with this enigmatic synth ballad about losing oneself in honesty. At least that's what the most repeated lyric says. Don't know what it has to do with Christians, or China for that matter.
11 - "Gloria," Laura Branigan
11 - "Gloria," Laura Branigan
The late New York belter only charted twice in Britain, but she went Top Ten both times. The first was this dance-rock soap opera masterpiece. Just perfect.
When I hear that Top Ten bling, it can only mean one thing.
When I hear that Top Ten bling, it can only mean one thing.
10 - "Electric Avenue," Eddy Grant
I would have thought his homeland would have let him "take it higher" than he did in America, but no, it stopped at #2 here too. Oh well, Canada did right by Eddy. You're welcome.
9 - "Oh Diane," Fleetwood Mac
Surprisingly, the slick later version of this band that conquered America wasn't that much more successful in Britain than the original, more blues-oriented version. This was only the second U.K. Top Ten of the Buckingham/Nicks eradicated, and it didn't even chart in America. Which is a shame, because it's a nice little Buckingham-sung love song that's a throwback to late-50s/early-60s sock hop slowdanceballads. A forgotten gem.
8 - " Wham Rap (Enjoy What You Do)," Wham!
Before the London heartthrob duo broke through in the U.S. in '84, they scored five Brit hits, the second being this hip-hop homage about the fun and splendor of unemployment. Surprisingly, George Michael does a more than adequate job of aping the early rap style of artists like The Sugarhill Gang and Kurtis Blow, and he one-ups a lot of future rappers by singing the hook as well. I can honestly say I enjoyed what they did here. And in a field lacking in real strangeness, this gets an Uneasy Rider.
7 - "Up Where We Belong," Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes
Only got this high here, but the iconic An Officer and a Gentleman ballad was a U.S. #1 and won an Oscar. Movie producer Don Simpson wanted it cut from the movie, insisting it was awful and would never be a hit, and he remained unmoved by it's success. I can't say I love it either, but I recognize the commercial sweet spots it hits.
6 - "Africa," Toto
They blessed a continent's rains. I don't know if that had any effect, but hey, if a flapping butterfly can...
5 - "Billie Jean," Michael Jackson
5 - "Billie Jean," Michael Jackson
The only better strutting song in the world than "Staying Alive."
4 - "Change," Tears for Fears
Another duo with hits here at home before breaking America. The second Top Five for these Bath boys was this smooth new waver about relationship evolution. It might be my favorite of theirs.
3 - "Sign of the Times," The Belle Stars
The third and biggest of four Top 40s for these eight women from London was this bouncy pop song about a relationship that can't last due to incompatibility. Head-bobbingly fun. But their best hit was their first, an amazing cover of the Mardi Gras song "Iko Iko" that would later become their only American hit after its use in the movie Rain Man.
2 - "Down Under," Men at Work
2 - "Down Under," Men at Work
I don't care how many times I hear this song, I'm still never trying Vegemite.
And your U.K. charttopper of 34 years ago was...
And your U.K. charttopper of 34 years ago was...
1 - "Too Shy," Kajagoogoo
The nonsensically-named ones actually had four more hits after this here. But does the rest of the world care? Uh...that's a kajanono. This is quite enough, thanks.
Tune in next time to see what month and year I'll land in next.
The nonsensically-named ones actually had four more hits after this here. But does the rest of the world care? Uh...that's a kajanono. This is quite enough, thanks.
Tune in next time to see what month and year I'll land in next.