Stage Two:
20 - "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother," Neil Diamond
19 - "It's Impossible," Perry Como
18 - "Groove Me," King Floyd
17 - "River Deep, Mountain High," The Supremes and The Four Tops
16 - "I'll Be There," The Jackson 5
Neil Diamond kicks things off. He recorded this song about the fraternal bond before the Hollies did, but their version was released as a single first, and was a bigger hit. And was better, as far as I'm concerned. But Neil's a Hall of Famer now, so I'm sure he doesn't care.
Then it's the man who was once memorably played by Eugene Levy as a half-asleep man on a couch singing "I Love the Nightlife" on SCTV, with an English version of a Mexican ballad called "Somos Novios." Pretty standard easy-listening love song, but in a field sorely lacking in oddity, Perry Como wins this week's Uneasy Rider Award. Here's this once-huge pre-rock crooner who was too square to stay relevant in the sixties unlike Frank or Dean, and suddenly, here he is, back in the Top 40, rubbing elbows with Elton and Zeppelin. These sort of things could happen back then, which I think is kind of awesome.
The quite feminine-sounding King Floyd is here with this classic funk strut. It was playing while Homer Simpson tried to correct the indentation made by his buttocks in his couch, which had been ruined by carnies who had been squatting in his house. Good times.
The post-Diana Supremes teamed up with The Four Tops for this version of the Phil Spector-produced Ike and Tina Turner single that had famously flopped in the U.S. but is now regarded as a classic. This version doesn't quite live up to that, but it was the bigger hit, so I guess they can claim a win on some level.
Finally it's Michael and his brothers with the song that was #1 on our last visit to this year. It's fantastic. Nothing more to add.
15 - "We've Only Just Begun," The Carpenters
14 - "For the Good Times," Ray Price
13 - "Stoney End," Barbra Streisand
12 - "Domino," Van Morrison
11 - "5-10-15-20 (25-30 Years of Love)," The Presidents
Karen and Richard open things up with that song made for weddings. Will it be played at mine? If the future Mrs. Glovehead allows.
Then it's country veteran Ray Price, who after nearly two years of country hits, scored his biggest pop hit with this gem written by Kris Kristofferson. Just good stuff.
After building her career on the songs of musical theatre, Barbra Streisand decided to take a stab at contemporary pop with this R&B number about youthful rebellion, written by legendary songwriter Laura Nyro. Stepping away from show tunes worked out well, becaus this was her biggest hit since "People." So she would keep it up for a while, eventually even doing disco and working with Barry Gibb. She should try that now, maybe doing an album with the Black-Eyed Peas and Nickelback. You know you'd want to hear it.
Van Morrison is here, pleading with a DJ for some rhythm and blues music on the radio. And to help, he provides a terrific slice of it with this number. I'm not sure what dominoes had to do with anything, though.
Rounding out the group are The Presidents, who were, not surprisingly, from Washington, D.C. It's a basic song about long-lasting relationships. Myself, if I want to hear a "5, 10, 15, 20" song, I'd look up the one from Schoolhouse Rock.
The Ten Tunes at the Top of the Totem Pole:
10 - "No Matter What," Badfinger
My favorite song by the power-pop band signed to the Beatles' Apple label. In a power-pop showdown, I'd take them over the Raspberries, but the unfortunalely hitless Big Star over both of them.
9 - "Gypsy Woman," Brian Hyland
The man who gave the world the naughty novelty "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" ten years earlier returned to the Top Ten with a Curtis Mayfield-penned song about...a Gypsy woman. Nice song, shame about the singer.
8 - "Does Anybody Really Know What Time it Is?" Chicago
This is one of the band's jazziest hits. It's hard to imagine the band that was doing this even contemplating doing shit like "If You Leave Me Now" at the time. But times change, sadly.
7 - "Stoned Love," The Supremes
The biggest hit the group had without Miss Ross. It's a cry for peace and love, as was the style at the time, and had nothing to do with drugs, despite the title. Although CBS thought it might, because they cut the group's performance of it from an episode of the Merv Griffin Show. Ooooooooh!
6 - "I Think I Love You," The Partridge Family
The biggest hit from the made-for-TV band featuring Shirley Jones, David Cassidy, and future freakshow Danny Bonaduce. Another one that I'm sure is now stuck in your head just by me mentioning it. That's the risk you take reading these.
5 - "Black Magic Woman," Santana
Guitar virtuoso Carlos Santana and his eponymous band had what was their biggest hit for nearly two decades with this song about a lady who's trying to make a devil out of a guy. But then came that dick from Matchbox 20 with that horrible "Smooth'' song. Happy that Carlos got a comeback out of it, but Rob Thomas is the Antichrist of Rock.
4 - "Knock Three Times," Dawn
Okay, I'll make it official: This is my favorite song by Tony O. & Co. A latin-flavored confection about secret signals between lovers, with sound effects and everything. Just good dumb fun.
3 - "The Tears of a Clown." Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
This song had been released on an album a few years earlier, but not as a single. Then their U.K. label put it out there and it was a smash, and their counterparts across the pond followed suit and gave the Miracles their only #1 with Smokey. This song may be one of the crowning glories of Motown. Lyrically, musically, vocally, just a tour de force.
2 - "One Less Bell to Answer," The 5th Dimension
Marilyn McCoo gives one of her best performances on this Bacharach/David number about a woman who , despite trying to convince herself otherwise, still misses her lost love. Possibly the biggest hit song ever to mention eggs frying.
And the summit of musical popularity at the end of 1970 was occupied by...
1 - "My Sweet Lord/Isn't it a Pity," George Harrison
Yes, it was one of those double-sided singles that was on top this week, so Casey decided that he needed to play both songs (at the expense of "Share the Land." It's always the Canadians who get the short end, isn't it?) The A-side was the onetime "quiet Beatle"'s memorable shout out to higher powers in all their forms, but particularly to the Hindu god Krishna. The flip is a lesser-known but still strong meditation on the eternal question "Why are people such bastards to each other?" George was the first Beatle to have a solo Number One. I wonder how many people had that in the pool?
Casey's one Extra was Jackie Wilson's "Higher and Higher," which made me hate the Rita Coolidge version even more. And besides giving "Share the Land" its due, NotCasey played Gordon Lightfoot's "If You Could Read My Mind," and Judy Collins' version of "Amazing Grace."
Well, that's it. Merry Christmas, handful of readers. I do plan to do one of these next weekend, but if I don't for some reason, Happy New Year as well.
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